Poetry
a mirror
By aleatoric_rhetoric
30 June 2007
A take on the Socratic "An unreflected life is not worth living."

a mirror's
duty

right
and
priviledge

is eyes
meeting thine
own eyes

perplection at
the amazement to the
scorn: the containment

of perspective:

this perspective that is
trying to matter by
making matters by

the willingness to
inhale
or
the easeness of bail

backs turned
and eyes
removed

"who am i and
what am i
doing?"

all observers long
to be observed

our light shining upon
witnesses turning them
into prophets

"i am...
....
.............
?
...."

and the light
exclaims

"you
are.
you are!
you
are."

any reflective thinking
during moments where
you draw the human
eyes
cause
missed notes, missed
shots, missed
takes and
mistakes

the backdrop of
fingersnaps is
the open embrace
of God Almighty

the dropping of
a handfull of
coins in my
open felt accordion
case is
my creed in
synthesia

the eery silence after
having poured your
essence: after having
refracted your reflection
into the eyes of concave
mirrors

is either the sound God
heard concluding the
sixth day or
the sound we will hear
when there will be
days no
longer

in every moment
a world's perspective,
a human's glance,
there is life--
sustaining
and there is death--
conclusion---

but there is
ressurrection

there is
cycle

a
mirror's duty
is to set before
us thine own
eyes

i touch my
own cheek
and
feel

then

i recall the
feeling of when
another touched my
cheek and

i hear an entire
symphony of
a past seven
teen years

the oscillation of life like
the oscillation of every
pitch of every note of
every frequency and

frequently

i will return to mirrors
and i will reflect on the
performance i have just
witnessed and

it is a mirror's stunning
stamina to end the mus
ic long enough for my
mind to piece it all to
gether

and they say that it is
fallacy that
the human mind narrit
izes: that it makes shit
up for the sake of their
own sanity

my story
is
my story

my music is the music
i will recite for the God
of harmony, rhyme
scheme, understanding

She will sit before me
and ask me
gently
to tell Her about
myself:
tell her about
the life I lived

and when I finish
my eyes will be moist
from crying
my belly will
ache
from laughing
my shoulders will be
sore
from shrugging
(i'll start and
end with a shrug:
She'll
understand)

then i'll hear

the eery silence after
having poured your
essence: after having
refracted your reflection
into the eyes of concave
mirrors

and it is either

either the sound God
heard concluding the
sixth day or
the sound we will hear
when there will be
days no
longer

Reviews

Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 30th June 2007
I once gave you a full and reasoned crit and received an odd reply. This time then, I'll just be blunt and honest. Only my opinion, I may be wrong. 
 
Difficult to read - not neccesarily a bad thing. 
Opaque in the main. 
Definitely not for me. 
I doubt this is poetry - but who am I to say? 
On the whole, an incoherent ramble with a couple of gems - which incidently have been lost in the confusion. 
 
Perhaps I'm a Philistine. 
 
Phil.
a mirror
Written by CliffBowes (183 comments posted) 30th June 2007
I'm sorry AR, but I just can't seem to be able to read this work at all. I see the words but they seem unconnected and not forming any sense to me. Perhaps it is just me, not being up to your intellectual level and unable to understand the poem - if in fact that is what it is. I also find that the way it is presented with disjointed verses and the lack of capitals most disconcerting. As I say, it is probably just me being a bit of a stick in the mud. 
Cliff
well, I have tried
Written by fellpony (2924 comments posted) 30th June 2007
Like Phil I can see some good points in this: eg this is thought provoking: 
 
"either the sound God heard concluding the sixth day or 
the sound we will hear when there will be days no longer" 
 
I don't know, though, why there should be a link between that silence and a silence after having "poured your essence" (sp. "eerie" not "eery" in my opinion; there are a few other typos.) And if "poured your essence" means what I think you mean, why not laughter, or tears, or ???  
 
Structurally, I found your line breaks extremely disconcerting; I don't think they help your thoughts to come over to the reader (not to this one anyway. I copied it and pasted into my WP and made longer lines and a shorter number of them, to make it easier to see where you were going.) 
 
Some of it I found bathetic: 
 
"a handfull of coins in my open felt accordion case is my creed in synthesia" Do you mean you see colours on hearing money rolling in when you're busking? - how does that relate to Socrates' reflection on goodness, soul-searching, self-examination? or even to your mirrors? I do see a gesture towards music but the sudden descent from the determinedly abstract to extremely concrete inclines me to giggle. (JK Jerome described an episode on the Thames when he thought he'd got lost in the dark and was rowing down the millrace, heading for the weir. He wrote that he knew he was OK when he heard "He's Got Em On" played on the accordion's first cousin, a concertina - this being the instrument least like heavenly choirs in his estimation.)  
 
Completely puzzled by: 
 
"this perspective that is trying to matter by  
making matters by the willingness to inhale 
or the easeness of bail 
backs turned and eyes removed" 
 
Your poem reflects your pen-name, because for me it goes off in too many directions. I think there's a lot in it that could be worthwhile! but it wants either to be pruned or the different, random threads need to be expressed more coherently; less aleatoric and more rhetoric. 
 
It could be me; please do refute! :)

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