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Poetry
Midnight Path
By ChairmanMeow
02 July 2007

I love insomnia, I shouldn't but i do.


At a slow pace I find myself,
Although I'm not entirely sure I was looking.
This dark figure must appear strange
to the natives, a beast skulking around
at a peculiar hour,
Framed by deep dark trunks
and irony cold moonlight which streams
through the leaves and spills onto the earth.
The beast has reached his destination,
His drinking hole, a place to sit and delve inwards.

The air is thick and aqueous,
The lake is smooth and aerial,
The water moves in a slow tide,
The sound begins to sharpen,
The faintness of an ocean of noise,
The unrevealed figure in a an unrevised place,
The unperturbed world in an unceasing mind.

No longer myself i feel the knife sharp breeze
as it laces through my fingers so intricately,
The witching hour, familiar like an old friend
yet surprising like a new friend.
The sun will come up eventually, it has to.
It doesn't bother me, the creature just prefers it here.
He enjoys the warmth he finds in the night,
the mystery and the senses that you can find
in the swallowing black.

The beauty of dark light that dances like smoke.
No more daylight.
No more daylight.


Reviews
hmm...
Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 2nd July 2007
There are some really good ideas here, but some of your language jars a bit. For example, after the quirky nature of the first stanza the words "onto the earth" seem a little formal, and I have the same problem with "inwards" - it just doesn't read right, but it may just be me. [And you know you want to go for "watering hole" on that last line, don't you :p
 
The general idea is good, but the concept of the "I" character on one hand and the beast on the other is a little confusing. 
 
Not sure about the last two lines, though they do give it a satisfyingly sinister note, but I LOVE the one before them, even if it is oxymoronic and slightly confusing :)  
 
I quite like the second stanza, but you could lose it all together and the pome would still work beautifully. 
 
good stuff, keep writing =) [and try to get some more sleep...] 
 
clo x

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