READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 991 guests online and 1 member online
Poetry
But a dream
By kitten_princess
04 July 2007
One of the scenes from When Harry Met Sally, in reverse. [unintentional, but cool.]

I'm having trouble with my last lines at the moment, they never seem to fit.

Comments, suggestions and help would be noted and loved.

And there he is,
A whispered suggestion of
What a man could be -

Lying in my bedsheets.

Nested between pillow and bosom,
He wriggles with the torpor of sleep,
Just a bit closer to me.

I lie there too, eyes wrenched open
by insomnia's cruel jokes.

Sleep is but a dream tonight.

Reviews
Hello
Written by Josie (2780 comments posted) 4th July 2007
If it is only a dream kitten_princess, why not make him Mr Handsome instead of a whispered suggestion of what a man could be? Very well written, but don't quite understand how "sleep can be but a dream".

Written by Phil (6688 comments posted) 4th July 2007
I actually quite liked the last line. Also liked: 
 
A whispered suggestion of 
What a man could be -  
 
Phil. 

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item