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The goatrider
By Fledermaus
05 July 2007
An attempt at horror... Not sure if this worked though Undecided
The goatriders are said to have roamed Limburg, Brabant and Flanders in the late 1700s...

Night had fallen over the meadows and the woodland. The sun had sunken behind the treetops and the cries of owls echoed over the fields of Brabant. Lieke closed the door behind her and locked it carefully. Her father had asked Hans to look after her, but he had not returned from the village yet. She carried the bucket with fire-wood into the kitchen and tossed some twigs onto the flames. Men... Except for her father none could be trusted. She guessed Hans was still at the inn, with that barmaid of his. He had forgotten about his cousin and left her all alone in this empty house.
She wouldn't cook for him, that was for certain. And as she hung the cauldron over the fire, she threw in just enough water to make some soup for herself.
It promissed to be a lonely evening, but at least the house was warm and comfortable. She had checked the chickens and repaired the roof of their house. The fox would not be succesful tonight.
She walked to the window and looked at the yard. It looked so quiet and peaceful in the pale moonlight. The business of the day was gone. The chickens were asleep and the dog was slumbering.

But what was that? Did she imagine it, or did a shadow just disappear behind the bushes? She blinked and wiped the condesation from the glass. Something moved around the fence and approached the chicken-house. She couldn't see what it was, because of the shrubs, but it was certainly alife.
Lieke looked around the kitchen for a suitable weapon. The broom? The poker? She walked to the bucket and took out a piece of wood. Then she opened the window.
Cold mist floated inside and she could hear the sounds of chirping insects, yet the shadow had disappeared. Perhaps it was her imagination after all.
She wanted to close the window again, but then she saw it again. She shouted.
" Go away you!"
But the creature did not seem to be frightened by her voice.
She tossed the log at the silhouette. She heard a thud and a groan, but instead of running away, it seemed to approach. The thing was too large to be a fox and as it stept into the moonlight, Lieke's eyes opened wide... It was a man.

For a moment she was startled, but then she felt how the blood rushed to her cheeks.
" This is not funny Hans!", she shouted, " If you want me to open the door you'd better say you're sorry, or else you can sleep with the chickens."

The shadow came closer, but still Lieke couldn't make out who the man was.
" Listen up Hans. This is not a good joke. I'm serious, unless you appologize I won't let you in."
But as the man stumbled over the yard without a word she grew worried.

" Hans? Is it you Hans? And if not, then who are you? Visitors are always welcome, but not if they stroll around this house like a burglar."

The shadow moved to the side of the house and for a moment there was silence, but then she heard him rummage around the backdoor.
What if this was indeed a burglar? Would they be that bold? She could hardly imagine it, although... She had heard stories, about this Limburgian gang. Her heart beat faster, and she felt a cold drop roll down her neck. What if this was one of those? The stories were too horrible to imagine, and what could she do to defend herself?

A goat bleated... They did not have goats! O horror. Was this not enough evidence? The goatriders were here, in her very own yard. She cursed Hans for having left her alone, although he could not have done much either. The goatriders were said to have made a pact with the devil himself. They rode on the backs of demon goats and robbed farms all over Limburg and the Kempen.
Their cruelty was beyond the wildest imagination. They tortured and murdered and left a trail of destruction wherever they came. What could she do?

How stupid she had been to shout at them. Now they knew that someone was home. They would find her and do the devil knows what. A shiver went down her spine at the thought of what she had heard.

There was a loud bang on the door. The hinges rambled and she could hear the bleating goat again.

Think Lieke, think... Where could she hide? What could she do? They would turn the place upside down and then torch it.

Once again the robber banged on the door, and this time the blow seemed so violent that she could hear the wood crack.

They would find her anyhow. But she made her decision. If they were going to get her, she would not let them have her without a fight. She walked to the fire and held the poker in the flames until the iron was glowing red. If they were going to do something to her, they would be the first to suffer.

" Open up! I know you're there!", a hoarse voice growled.

She staggered towards the backdoor, and held the poker up high. Then she unlocked it and threw it open. She closed her eyes instinctively, afraid of what she'd see, and stabbed...

The demon bandit cried as if he was burned by hell's fire itself. She heard him fall back and scream. Then she blinked. Before her the goatrider twisted and coiled in the mud, holding his right arm. A cloak covered his head and his face was pitchblack.

She raised the poker for another attack, but the demon held his good hand up.

" Lieke! Are you mad? It's me! Hans!"

She lowered her glowing weapon.

" Hans? You're a... goatrider?"
" It was just a bloody joke. Oh, God. You could have killed me. My arm. My arm!"
" And the goats? I heard a goat bleat."
" That was me, imitating a goat. I wanted to scare you. Wicked girl. How could you do that, a redhot poker!"
" Get up and come inside."

He did as she told him and Lieke closed the door behind him. She locked it carefully, but she did not see the goat that was standing in the bushes, next to the chicken-house...

Reviews
Hi Fledermaus
Written by jean.day (2326 comments posted) 5th July 2007
All along I was expecting it to be her cousin - and that was fine. But with the goat standing in the background at the end, you leave it a bit up in the air.  
 
I have had occasion to be very frightened with people trying to get in our house when my sister and I were alone - and I think you created a realistic sense of panic. We didn't go for the hot poker idea. We hid in the basement and then later , when we thought he'd gone, called the police.

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 5th July 2007
Thanks Jean. It's indeed scary that such things happen. Every now and then one hears such stories in the news, and we had a burglar once while I was asleep, yet my mum chased him away :grin  
 
I just read that the goatriders were probably thought up by law-enforcers in the 18th century, but it's still an interesting folk-story.

Written by Asferthecat (851 comments posted) 5th July 2007
I think the tension would have been heightened if she had been with a small child. They could have had some conversation and racheted up the tension with their mutual fear. 
Chicken house = coop. 

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 5th July 2007
Thanks Asferthecat. 
That'd be a good idea indeed. Although that would make Hans a bit too cruel wouldn't it?

Written by Asferthecat (851 comments posted) 6th July 2007
Not if he was the goatrider in disguise.

Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 6th July 2007
You built the tension well in this and the story worked. I thought the ending was a little tame though. I wonder if you considered anything more sinister? 
 
Phil.

Written by johniebg (553 comments posted) 7th July 2007
This is a really clever idea. Creating some sense of fear or panic by the creatin of your words. 
 
I loved the idea of the goatriders although the title itself in english doesn't sound scary, maybe demon riders would have done it? 
 
This worked the best for me at the beginning and the end. You created some good tension of what might be happening, but thought you could of had her think it was Hans immediately and then dismiss it.  
 
You did manage to convince me it wasnt Han's and was thinking the fearsome Goat rider was a little lame being taken out by a hot poker ... but i liked the end.  
 
I am assuming that Han's either was a goat rider or that they were now waiting to pounce. 
 
Good stuff and not even your first language, I think.

Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 7th July 2007
Hi Fled. Like others I found the build-up deserved a better ending. Also watch your spelling. I understand English is not your first language, but if you are going to submit stuff to an English market I suspect editors will still take a dim view of poor spelling and grammar. So if you haven`t got a spellchecker on your PC, look in an english dictionary. I know we are all guilty at times, but in the competitive world of writing, trying to be as `mistake-free` as possible should always be our aim. I`ll get off my soapbox now and say that overall I enjoyed reading your piece.  
 
All the best 
Woody

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 10th July 2007
Thanks everyone. 
Asferthecat: I deliberately left that open. It could be a prank, or he could be indeed one of the goatriders. Or perhaps a prank while the real goatriders were watching? 
 
Phil: I'm not sure. Somehow it seems my endings aren't too much of a climax lately. Hopefully when I've some more time I can try to write something darker.  
 
Johnie: Thanks. That's what they' were called though, goatriders (bokkerijders). I'm glad you liked it. You're right that he was taken out a little too easy if he was truly a demonic bandit. :) 
 
Woody: I could indeed do with a spellchecker. Yet I also took a few typos out which a spellchecker would have missed, as I always mix up certain English words (bold vs. bald for instance). I'll proofread a next story more carefully.

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