These stanzas are part of the series of verses I call bagpipe music, after Louis MacNeice's poem.
The happy whales that breach and spout and surface to slap a tail
had half a chance to escape harpoons during the age of sail;
now factory ships and motorised chasers are making the job quite cushy
and the Japanese public is gorging itself on the taste of humpback sushi.
It's no go with the heaving on oars, no go with a shot from up close
as cannon harpoons drown out the sound of the cries of
Thar she blows!
While pristine places still remain that man can as yet despoil
with coal mines, uranium mines and open cuts, and drilling for the black gold, oil,
while the corporations augment their wealth at the expense of a ravaged planet
and executives exploit the rest of mankind while their hearts stay hard as granite,
it's no go the sustainable, no go the cleanly attractive;
let's build up instead the nuclear waste, in a world that's radioactive.
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that's life Written by uche (44 comments posted) 6th July 2007 |
interesting piece as commentary on man's reckless despoliation; you may wish to rework line 10 "exploit; hard as granite" which has some cliche expressions, though |
I can Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 6th July 2007 |
| appreciate this work. We are destroying our planet, and everything you say is true, unfortunately. But, powerful stuff, patterjack! |
Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 6th July 2007 |
I should have done this a while ago - Googled Louis MacNeice and read his Bagpipe Music. Enjoyed that. Had a very sharpe edge to it wrapped up in a jaunty rhythm and some dark humour. This reflected his piece very well. Perhaps it lacks his coarseness - that being neither a good or a bad thing. Enjoyed it Brian - and it's widened my poetic knowledge a little; no bad thing. Phil. |
Body bagging the environment Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 7th July 2007 |
| How well put Brian. What you have said is perfectly true, and doesn't poetry bring it home with force? I try to tell myself that people are working together to make things better in the world, but I think the truth is as you've put it bluntl but correctly. Oh dear! |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 10th July 2007 |
Somehow wrapping up a powerful message in a poem with a jaunty rhythm and am simple rhyme makes for uncomfortable reading. It almost feels as if the content doesn't quite fit the structure and makes you look at it all the more. Very clever. Al Gore spent 80 minutes saying the same thing in a film, An inconvenient Truth, and wasn't half so effective or consise. Good poetry has that ability to concentrate and condense a theme or thought and make it easy to assimilate Jane
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I'm no poet.... Written by Wordfairy (3 comments posted) 1st December 2008 |
... So I will refrain from comment on the poetry (which seems to be very popular, judging by all your reviews!) I would like to comment on content though. It is a very depressing viewpoint, hardhitting and full on, however, there is a balance to be had. There is a huge amount of positive work going on out there, and I have worked with numerous volunteers and organisations who are achieving great things. I wonder if a 'Yin/Yang' style book is overdue, with in your face 'It's happening now' works like this, balanced by 'But we are achieving this' style work. (Not upbeat and making light of it, just acknowledging the positives as well as revealing the negatives) Sometimes the depressing stuff alienates those who are more easily won over with gentle persuasion, but others respond to an instant hit. Sandra |
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