BECKY'S BOUTIQUE
 

Nat gently closed the door behind her, pushed the pram into its usual resting place, turned on the T.V. and for a moment stood, seeing nothing, hearing nothing but with a mind in turmoil. Her fingers closed around the paper in her pocket. She has read the letter so many times that she had no need to look at it again. But she had to keep it close, had to feel its smoothness, with her fingers try to pick out the words that she knew were there. It was a talisman, a good luck charm. The blaring jingle from the television dragged her attention back to the here and now.
 
"Today we will be discovering the pleasures of recipes using haricot beans. Then Adriana Ceorgiou looks at dressing fashionably for less than one hundred pounds, and Dr Duncan Simpson gives advice on how to deal with hyper-active children!"

Daytime television at its best. Advice given to people who don't need it; people who can't take it; people who can't afford it and those who just don't give a damn.
 
"Fifty pounds, well I think that's very reasonable for a T shirt of that quality," enthused Becky Wells, front woman for T.V's popular advice programme, 'Becky's Boutique'.
 

With a sigh of resignation Nat leant forward to rock the pram. She sucked the dummy, which had fallen onto the floor, and stuffed it back into the ever vociferous and hungry mouth. For a while, at least, the baby was content and, with any luck, would soon be asleep.
 

Nat sank back onto the sofa removing various items, toys, newspapers, and pieces of clothing and dropping them onto the floor. For once she had the house to herself, the kids were at school and Malc was, well Malc was out.
She looked around the living room, seeing it for what it was. A house too small to accommodate them all. Paper peeling off the walls, dirty cups and plates on the table. Second hand and decaying furniture, but the all-important T.V. dominating the room. Malc had insisted on getting it. On credit of course.
Dingy, dirty and dowdy.
 
She stood up and made a half-hearted attempt at clearing the cups away. As she did she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Twenty-one years old going on fifty. She tugged at a strand of mousy hair that had escaped from her ponytail.
 
"Hard to manage hair? Then try new Pro-chic range of hair products. Use once and amaze your friends!" Declared the T.V.

When was the last time she'd been to the hairdressers? She crinkled her brow for amoment. Yes. It had been that time they'd gone to visit Malc's grown up daughter and her baby. He'd wanted to show her off; a girlfriend only a little older than his own daughter! It hadn't worked, Carla knew him only too well!

Nat had been pregnant then. She looked back at the baby and smiled. He really was a little sweetie - especially when asleep.

She took the cups into the kitchen and stacked them onto the draining board. She'd do them later, make the most of the time she'd got to herself.

She went back into the living room; the dog whined and looked up expectantly. She scratched behind his ears. "I'll get Wayne to take you out for a walk when he gets back from school." The dog yawned and settled itself back to sleep with a resigned expression that seemed to say, "Yeah. I've heard that before."

"There's no reason why, even on a very small income, families cannot eat healthily and well in this day and age. Haricot beans and all pulses are very nutritious and can be combined with a myriad of other ingredients to provide a substantial and filling meal that all the family will enjoy," pontificated the nutritional expert on thetelevision.

 "Now I'll show you how to prepare this extremely tasty cassoulet."

"As you know Russell, I am a complete virgin with regard to the kitchen. Would I be able to cook this meal?" simpered Becky Wells.

Natalie turned down the volume and said to the Tele, "My modern kitchen doesn't have all that equipment, and you try and get my lot to eat haricot beans, whatever they are. They'd soon tell you what to do with them!"

The baby sighed and sucked even harder on its dummy. "You sleep luv while you can. There won't be much chance later."
She smiled again and the love radiating out towards the sleeping infant made her almost beautiful.

The dog whined and whimpered in its sleep. Its legs paddling, chasing imaginary cats and no doubt catching them.

The dog was big and looked fierce. It growled menacingly, showing

needle sharp teeth, but it was a pussycat and only wanted to be loved. Just like Wayne.

They made a good pair and sought out each other's company. It had become Wayne's dog and it would have defended him to the death.

Wayne was her first child. The only one not fathered by Malc. Could that account for his behaviour? She pushed back the curtains of time and was once again fourteen years old.

Down at the park with her mates, dressed to impress. Hoping that this time Mickey might notice her.

"Haven't you done it yet? Yer scared aren't ya! Nufin to be scared of. It's lovely. Boys don't want to go with you if ya if ya won't do it. Any road ya can't catch first time -'specially if ya do it standing up. I've done it loads a times!"

The words of her friend and the pleadings of Mickey had persuaded Nat. "You're beautiful you are. I'm gonna love you for ever and ever. We'll get married when we leave school. Find a nice little place of our own, away from everybody. Our little love nest. Just me and you. You're drop dead gorgeous you. Better looking than any of the others. Come on Nat. It'll be OK. Promise!"

Of course she'd given in and no, he hadn't loved her for ever and ever. Mickey and his mom had left soon after to go to live in a refuge in order to get away from his dad.