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Shorts
In the dead of night
By johniebg
07 July 2007

I have to say reading the authors note of Fladermaus's Goatriders really stoked my imagination -  creating emotion or fear just be the form of our words. And so at 6AM yesterday bidden by a restless mind this appeared on the page (or screen).

If you have read my 'Dancing to the Beat of 16 Hearts' story here, this precludes those events by seven years. You can get to that story from my profile, if you feel so inclined.

I hope you enjoy this.


 

Jana woke suddenly, her eyes wide open - total silence but for the receding memory of a sound in her mind. She lay still, her only company the pale light and shadow swaying on the opposite wall.

Straining to every sound she could hear the wooden floors groan as the last of the days heat escaped into the night, the relentless beat of the clock working its way through the increments of a minute, the cacophony of noises that are the ebb of the night - the wind in the trees, predators foraging, the call of a bird and its lost child.

These were familiar to Jana because they were the sounds of every night, but her instincts told her there was something else. Slowly pulling the sheets away from her body, she lowered her feet to the cold wooden floor, never taking her eyes from the bedroom door and its handle.

If there really was someone outside the room, then they had negotiated Dimitri downstairs, which meant they must also be very capable. Jana’s first thought was for her daughter in the next room.

Holding a long wooden pin between her teeth she gently pulled the pistol from her bedside draw, a familiar feel in the palm of her hand. Using the pad of her thumb she flicked off the safety, then stepped towards the door, quietly, softly. Eyes constantly fixed on the door handle.

With one long pace remaining she paused, sifting through the familiar sounds for the unfamiliar – the barely discernible murmur of material sliding across material. Silence. And then again, as if someone slowly and meticulously stepping across an unknown floor. There was no way to tell whether the sound was just the other side of the door, or outside her daughters. Winding her long hair into a bunch onto the back of her head, she pulled the pin from her mouth. Her mistake.

The door sprung silently, wide open. A dark human shape flowed through the gap and immediately towards her. Striking something hard across her right cheek, the force pin-wheeling her body around and sprawling towards the floor. Both gun and pin were lost from her grasp, hearing the pistol clatter to the floor.

Her shoulder first painfully hit the wooden edge of the bed before she thumped hard onto the floor but had no time to dwell on the pain. Gloved hands laced into her hair, dragging her bodily onto the bed, hands flailing desperately for some potential weapon but only succeeding in swiping the bedside lamp across the room.

No sooner had she been pulled fully onto the bed, the attacker climbed over and straddled her, in his left hand she glimpsed a short darkly reflective cosh. It swung down painfully across her temple. Desperately hanging onto consciousness she blinked away the white light, her goal to simply give Jane all the time she could to wake and run, out of her window, onto the roof, down into the street. They had drilled her repeatedly. She opened her mouth to scream a warning but the cosh was forced past her lips into her mouth. It pushed down to the back of her throat, gagging, the scream lost before it even left her lungs.

Jana’s mind raced, realising now that this was almost certainly a women, strong and agile, and very quick. But not likely to be sidetracked by her body. The cosh at the back of her throat was pushing down on her tongue, limiting the ability to draw in oxygen and rendering her bucking hips and flailing arms almost useless.

Reaching up to a belt fastened across her chest, the attacker pulled free a short knife. The part of the blade not coated in blood refracted the soft light of the night as the dark body lowered itself, stopping just inches from the fist jammed down against Jana's mouth.

Behind a dark stocking, she could see the face was definitely female, but one that was unimaginably strong. The voice was English, with a hint of accent that gave the language a lilt. Like nothing she had heard before;

“Do not fear, your daughter like you, like your noble guard, will die quickly.” With this the dark figure sat back upright and pressed the end of the knife against Jana’s temple. Jana was powerless to even move, the women's strong thighs held her in place, her oxygen starved body was barely capable of sucking in enough air to remain conscious. Watching the knife rise to the summit of the impending blow her mind whispered a hope that her baby was awake and running as fast as her young legs would carry.

With the knife beginning its descent, her eyelids blinked one last time, taking in the attackers shoulder shifting sideways to increase momentum, but being met by a small dark shadow. A small shadow illuminated in part by the moons light, a small bare arm wrapping itself around the assailants neck, breaking the momentum of the swing while stabbing once, hard at the stockinged head. Both shadows rolled across the bed and and onto the floor with a thump.

Clambering after the bodies, half spitting, half pulling the cosh free and throwing it to one side Jana leaned over the edge and looked down into her daughters wide brown eyes. The stockinged head lay lifeless to one side with the tip of her wooden hairpin protruding from the ear. Her daughter looked back at her, fear and battles adrenalin trembling her bottom lip, her body poised not sure whether to reach up for a hug or recoil from a rebuke.

“Jane ... baby!” Jana reached down and Jane scampered quickly into her arms.

“Are there more?” She could feel her daughter's head move slowly from side to side, and then a few seconds later warm tears on her naked shoulder. Silence, save for their own breathing and the relentless progress of the clock. The shadows and pale light continued their dance upon the wall, oblivious.

“Why didn't you run baby, why didn't you run!” She tried hard to pull the rebuke from her tone, turning it instead to a slightly desperate pitch. Moments passed and she felt the small arms tighten around her neck, “I couldn't leave you mummy ... ”



Reviews

Written by Cindersarella (67 comments posted) 7th July 2007
I really enjoyed this Johnie. The story capitalises on a fear I think most of us have.  
 
I found myself absorbed from the outset so much so that I could actually feel my throat constrict as you described the cosh pushing into her month. 
 
Tempo wise far easier to read than Dancing to the Beat of 16 Hearts, I'm not sure if that is just due to length or because the action here is diluted with description. 
 
The brief dialogue between Jana and Jane worked well to counterbalance the violence with a show of vulnerability. 
 
Absorbing stuff 
 
Good to see you back posting

Written by Phil (6393 comments posted) 7th July 2007
With Cinders on this. The cosh in the throat was the toe curling part. This works in well with your other piece. 
 
This sentence: 
Both gun and pin were lost from her grasp, hearing the pistol clatter to the floor at her right.  
doesn't quite make sense. 
 
passed/past, I think 
 
daughters head/daughter's head 
 
Hope you don't mind me pointing those out. 
 
Good read. 
 
Phil.

Written by jfofnian (18 comments posted) 7th July 2007
A well-told story. I certainly shivered at parts! Gripping, flowing prose and, like Cindersarella, I thought the ending was a beautiful contrast with what had gone before. 
 
As Phil has pointed out, a couple of grammar issues, mostly concerning apostrophes! 
days heat/day's heat 
assailants neck/assailant's neck 
 
Anyway, I'm definitely going to look up Dancing to the Beat of 16 Hearts now!

Written by Lizzy (781 comments posted) 8th July 2007
A good read, tension was kept up throughout. 
Will try and read the next part. 
Lizzy

Written by philkent (157 comments posted) 8th July 2007
Good, very engaging, pulled straight in from the first sentence. 
 
I don't think I've read any of your work before so I'm not sure if this is part of a longer piece or stand alone. The ending was a little abrupt if it was the latter.

Written by philkent (157 comments posted) 8th July 2007
Ooops misread you're preceding comments. Not a stand alone, my mistake.

Written by Asferthecat (789 comments posted) 9th July 2007
A gripping story. Before I was gripped I noticed this peculiar phrase 'the call of a bird and its lost child' 
Birds don't call at night and their children are fledgelings, which just squwark. 
I liked the fact the attacker was a woman and the throat bit was good as well.

Written by johniebg (538 comments posted) 11th July 2007
Many thanks for all the comments here. Sounds like it was mission accomplished. 
 
I do have to say that I spent ten years living in the remote far beyond of the Suffolk countryside, and spent endless nights listening to mother owls and baby owls calling out to each other. Apparently the baby owl would frequently fall out of the nest. I am not sure whether child is a specifically human term or whether it can be applied to any 'child' born of a parent. It seems OK to me. 
 
I am not sure how many people got how old Jane was in this, a few checked out Dancing to beat of 16 hearts, which would have allowed the sum to be made - seven going on eight. 
 
It stopped abruptly purely because there is so much about the story of Dimitri, Jana and Jane that I am itching to tell, if I had continued it would have been an opus (which may mean something different than I think it does but it is late and I can't be bothered to fire up dictionary.com) and defeated the object. I was going to add the line 'I knew I could do it ...' at the very end but it just didn't seem to fit. 
 
So for now. Many, many thanks.

Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 17th July 2007
Very atmospheric and gripping, some wonderful imagery in parts and great use of language. It certainly had my heart pounding! I particularly liked how the attacker was female, it gave the story a unique edge. Think i'll go on and read the next part...great :)

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