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| Dependent (Life Sentence 1) | |
| By gwyddyn | ||||||||||||||||
| 08 July 2007 | ||||||||||||||||
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The first of three poems with the collective theme 'Life Sentence', Dependent is based on my experiences of my ex-wife's Manic Depression. Lithium is used to control the condition but it tends to leave the patient listless and unemotional. Helen, my ex, would often stop her medication just to experience the manic/depressive cycle, she said she at least felt alive for a short while!!! Dependent O Lithium! My Lithium! Such a bitter pill. Guardian of my sanity; Keeper of the Gate! I reject you. I roam the Plains of Mania, entranced by the majesty of the unreal. Time floats by on a zephyr; its meaning lost' its demands upon me irrelevant. My mind is free, soaring on the wings of my psychosis, unbridled by obscene reality. People, gibbering wraiths, fade away Insignificant now, unable to comprehend my world. My world, my utopia, my realm. I am a god. I baptise thee, pussycat. Arise Brother Snuffkin - holy cat - defend the Tea Pot of Power. Hold true to the Faith. The usurpers come to claim me for their own. Dressed in white, they bring false gifts: a ‘there, there, there'; and a pill, a pill. I exist in the Darkness. Condemned to the depths; the rank labyrinth of Depressions reign. Weary beyond weary, I strive to rise, to lift this pathetic consciousness from its cranial tomb. Muted echoes of speech assault me, Pounding on the walls of my confinement. They are mistaken, I am not worthy of rescue. I am nothing. Time crushes me in its passing. My body is fed, watered: What do I care? Voices on my head, insistent, piercing, puncture the gloom. Black fades to grey. I breathe, I am reborn. The saviours come to claim me for myself. Dressed in white, bearing false hope: a ‘there, there, there'; and a pill, always a pill. Guardian of my sanity; Keeper of the Gate! O Lithium! My Lithium! Such a sweet pill.
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