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Not News
E BA GUM - whatever next?
By Seagull
13 July 2007

Following on from the news that a degree course in Northern Studies is to be offered at Leeds University a fierce debate has erupted in academia as to exactly where the North begins and ends. Almost everyone at the University agrees that the North begins somewhere between Nottingham and Sheffield but there is no consensus on where exactly.

 

We managed to speak to Professor Simonite earlier who maintains that the north begins at the southern Yorkshire border and finishes at top end oop near Middlesbrough.  He maintained though, that Harrogate  should not be counted as anything other than a southern enclave filled with Nancy boys. He also said he was prepared to fight anyone who disagreed with his assessment of the situation.

 

Prof. Clegg was prepared to be more flexible on the borders but agreed whole heartedly with his colleague regarding Harrogate and wondered whether Knaresborough should be included in the enclave.

 

Details of the course content have yet to published but is likely to include; welly wanging, whippet castration, pigeon sexing, and taunting those of the Lancastrian persuasion. A University Spokesman denied that the wearing of flat caps whilst attending lectures would be compulsory but did admit it would be encouraged.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6675 comments posted) 13th July 2007
I 'ope tha's not tekkin' piss lad. 
 
Glad yer've noticed them misplaced Southern nancy-boys in 'Arrogate. 
 
Good stuff. 
 
Phil (Yorkshiremen Abroad, Lancs president)

Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 13th July 2007
I'm a Yorky mesen born and bred 
 
My source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/6896081.stm 
 
Chris (Yorkshiremen Abroad, Warwickshire president)

Written by Phil (6675 comments posted) 13th July 2007
With all this missionary work, we'll have them all stuffing ferrets down their draws.

Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 13th July 2007
I think this is a very polished, funny piece. I can't help noticing this version of 'the North' coincides exactly with Yorkshire (apart from the Harrogate/Knaresborough enclave). I suppose those of us in Wearside and Tyneside must be in 'the North East beyond the North'. 
 
Much enjoyed. 
 
Ben

Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 13th July 2007
Thank you Ben. I was so amazed to read of the Northern Studies course that I just to write something. 
 
I would agree that those of you fortunate to live on Wearside / Tyneside / Teesside, but not necessarily beside the seaside, do indeed live in the lands beyond the North. 
so, is
Written by fellpony (1597 comments posted) 14th July 2007
Cumbria too far west to qualify as North?  
 
Funny piece. UN-doubtedly Knaresborough is not The North. Have you found out if worm charming is on the curriculum?
Well now,
Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 14th July 2007
geographically Cumbria being the North West is de facto in the North but, culturally is not.  
 
Worm charming was intended to be on t' curriculum but owing to pissin' down weather the safety o' worms can't be guaranteed.  
 
I feel another piece coming on!! 
 
Chris 
MArvellous
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 24th July 2007
Grand Seagull, just grand. Enjoyed that, especially as a thoroughbred Yorkie mesen, who also goes by the monicker of Chris.  
 
Look forward to more of your crack, so t'speak. 
 
Cheers 
 
Givitsum

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