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Poetry
Waves Crashing on the Shore
By ToniBowling
13 July 2007

Here is a poem that I wrote while on the beach, vacationing with my children.


As I sit here watching the waves crashing on the shore,
I think back to a time when things were simple and so much more.
With the waves crashing on the shore, I look out at the open bay,
I see where the water and the sky meets, and I just want to stay.
I want to stay right here on the watery sands, right here on the beach,
Where I can watch the sunset, and watch the sailboats so out of reach.
With the waves crashing on the shore, I wait for the stars to come out,
So I can stare at them, have my peace and have no doubt.
My doubts about life would just crash with the waves,
And then go back out into the waters of the open bays.
I just want my serenity back and I feel it here with the ocean smell,
I feel like I have it with the stars above my head, with nothing more to tell.

Reviews

Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 13th July 2007
Very evocative. I really liked this. I felt as though I was there sitting on the beach having those thoughts. A lovely poem! 
 
Chris

Written by ToniBowling (6 comments posted) 13th July 2007
Thank you Chris, if you would like to read more please go to my website at www.cravenspublishing.com.
I got a bit confused
Written by fellpony (1652 comments posted) 14th July 2007
... when I misread the introduction as "vaccinating with my children", but I offer my apologies, that was just my brain which often reads shoplifters for shopfitters on passing vans. 
 
I liked the idea behind the poem but felt you could have made more of it without striving for rhymes. The metre staggers a bit, don't you feel? Can it be spoken easily or would it stammer?  
 
There are some empty words like "just" and "so" and "like" which are repeated a good deal. Some of the other repetitions work - "waves crashing on the shore" for instance - although i found "crashing" and the "serenity" you say they bring to have opposite meanings for me - but perhaps this is just a personal reaction, as I don't swim and you obviously like the water since your other work is set within it :)

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