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Loo Limerick
Written by fellpony
15 July 2007
Now, be gentle here, because this treads (rather shamefacedly) into the realms of twee advice to house guests.

We have just converted a barn to a cottage for holiday accommodation, but need to warn guests used to urban mains drainage that septic tanks are delicate beasties and must not be "fed" anything but digestible waste. A friend recently found a mop head blocking  the drains of her holiday cottage ... so I need a limerick that will draw people's attention to the drains without totally grossing them out. Tell me if I have succeeded - all suggestions welcome.

The cottage web site is www.dawbank.co.uk, if anyone is curious - hence the reference in the poem. (No further advertisements will be posted Sealed)



There was a young lady called Sue
Who flushed silly things down the loo.
Daw Bank’s septic tank
gave a cough and a clank
and vomited buckets of poo.

Reviews
Ha Ha
Written by Josie (2824 comments posted) 15th July 2007
Couldn't have put it better! Well done! I'm sure they'll get the message.

Written by Lizzy (822 comments posted) 16th July 2007
To the point and funny with it. 
Lizzy

Written by Phil (6832 comments posted) 16th July 2007
Not sure it won't gross them out, but I enjoyed it. 
 
Phil.

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3438 comments posted) 16th July 2007
You seem to be able to turn these pieces out effortlessly. 
A funnly llittle verse but I would counsel against putting it up as it can often have the opposite affect, giving perfectly sensible people the idea of behaving daftly 
cheers 
Jane

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 16th July 2007
Shouldn't the first line of a Limerick end with a placename? Clever little poem :grin
place names?
Written by fellpony (1649 comments posted) 16th July 2007
Not inevitably: 
 
Lear wrote: 
 
There was an Old Man who supposed 
That the street door was partially closed; 
But some very large rats 
Ate his coats and his hats, 
While that futile old gentleman dozed.

Written by Phil (6832 comments posted) 16th July 2007
It flew through the air in a brown cloud 
Of vaporised urine and muck - 
So next time you go to the toilet, 
Deposit your waste by the book. 
 
(sorry)

Written by Phil (6832 comments posted) 16th July 2007
If you don't 'young Sue' will go mental 
And use your head for a mop. 
You'll get poo in your teeth and your hair-do 
You'll be begging the young girl to stop. 
 
(even sorrier)
All I
Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 16th July 2007
can say is - YUK!
All I
Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 16th July 2007
can say is - YUK!
Sorry for the two - but
Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 16th July 2007
this web site is mucking (forgive the pun) me about. 
Last night as I was writing Absorbing Hobby, the font size kept leaping from point 10 back to the tiny one! And I didn't always notice it until a line was written! Grrrrrr!

Written by fellpony (1649 comments posted) 16th July 2007
I think our Phil is suffering from cabin fever from bein' laid up with a bad leg. Since I have books on sale in the cottage, I doubt that "depositing waste by the book" will be quite what I want.  
 
 
 

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