I've never been much of a poet, but this is something I once wrote for that special someone!
Come, my love, and take my hand,
And see with me the pleasant land
That we can build, both you and I,
Somewhere far beyond the sky.
A world of bliss, of hope, of peace,
Where joy and love shall never cease:
This is how it e’er will be,
The place we’ll make, both you and me.
We’ll craft our world through ev’ry day,
And then by night as one we’ll lay,
Whisp’ring words of love so true,
Our hearts shall swell our whole lives through.
I will be your loving king,
And have the birds your praises sing,
And make your world a beauteous scene,
For you shall be my perfect queen.
Your golden hair shall be your crown,
Your stunning dress your ermine gown.
I’ll bring true your ev’ry dream,
So that your smile fore’er shall beam.
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Written by Josie (2632 comments posted) 15th July 2007 | | Sam, I hope that as the two of you set off along life's path to build your pleasant land together, where love and joy shall never cease, that you did well and that you are still together. The place of your dreams perhaps may be a little modified, but if you are still together and happy, then you have succeeded where others have failed. Good luck and let us know how it turned out. | oh god
Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 15th July 2007 | I'm really, really sorry, but as an ex-english language student I feel it is my duty: you've ot your wills and shalls mixed up. It's always "I/We shall" and "You/He/She/It/They will" - again, sorry about that *blush*
Having said that, this is pretty, reckon you could extend the ideas given by hte mediaeval language into something a bit more archaic and it would work really well.
work on what poetry you have, and it might surprise you
clo |
Written by sam_duke (19 comments posted) 15th July 2007 | Thank you clo! You've no need to blush - I remember when I was writing this I would wondering for a very long time what the correct form would be, so than you for setting me straight!
Josie, I wish the story was like that. To tell you the truth, I wrote this just a couple of weeks ago for someone I met nearly two years ago but who I haven't seen in such a long time because she went to live a long way away. We weren't especially close, but somehow I fell in love with her, only I could never quite tell her. I fell so deeply in love that in my quiet, lonely moments today I still think of her. She was such a kind and sweet young woman that she made me see the world in a different, better way, and made me want to change it all just for her. I've been writing a novel for this past year to tell the story of how we met and write about the kind of world I want to make for her, so that maybe it would be published and one day she'd see it in a bookstore somewhere, remember the name and pick it up. The only trouble is I've been trying for so long and it's still no good. Part of the problem, of course, is that it's simply far too long-winded - much like this reply, I know. So even though I'm still as young and idealistic as when I began, I guess I can already see that nothing's ever as simple and perfect as we'd like it to be.
Anyway, dreaming doesn't hurt. Not much anyway. So thanks again everyone for reading! |
Written by Phil (6549 comments posted) 16th July 2007 | Not my favourite style of poetry, but as Clo says, it is pretty. Made me think of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow.'
Phil. | interesting
Written by fellpony (1536 comments posted) 16th July 2007 | Phil has spotted the link between the poem and the novel chapter, I think?
It reminded me of "Come live with me and be my love".
I felt the last two lines were a bit strangled ... I'd have stopped at the previous stanza.
Lovely idealistic stuff though  |
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