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By karlostheunhappyjackyl
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16 July 2007 |
This is another old one. This time I have gone for my shorter, simpler style which owes a lot to Western Haikus: image-heavy over poetic trickery.
I think it is really important to be more than satisfied with your work. Many of us think that a new work is great. Until we re-read it the next day. The really important pieces are those that stand the test of time for ourselves, assuming, like me, you are your own worst critic. This one, written many years ago, does still make me feel proud, but only because I like the imagery and the way it works on many levels.
Crowded
A zillion trees;
some of them dead
and some of them touching one another
looking at the dead.
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Crowded
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 16th July 2007 | This reads well, as though there is a hidden meaning to it, which I'm sure there is. But I just don't understand what is behind it. How many is a zillion - and where are the trees - are they substitutes for people or what. I still like the flow of it even though I don't understand it. Perhaps some kind person will explain.
Cliff
PS. have you got the longest pen name on the website? | Response
Written by karlostheunhappyjackyl (13 comments posted) 17th July 2007 | Thanks for the comment, CliffBowes.
The meaning is, on the face of it quite simple. Lots of trees, some of which are dead.
Then some of the ones which are not have branches and twigs that, by their growth touch one another.
The word touch can be taken literally and at a deeper emotional level.
Then touching, holding someone like looking at the dead, helplessly has many possible images from the holocaust to personal funerals and onto atheism - so you are right: there are many meanings implied. The one the reader will choose, is the one that works for them. Unfortunately, these appeared not to have worked on you, so in that sense it is a failure. On the other hand, apart from the zillion, which is merely a large number - we're not actually concerned with how many. |
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