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By wltshr
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16 July 2007 |
Dr Mohammed Haneef was arrested in Australia for providing reckless support to a terrorist organisation. He is alleged to have provided a mobile phone SIM card to two of his second cousins, both detained, but not charged, with terrorist activities in Britain. Haneef says “Before leaving for Australia I gave my sim card to my cousins so they could take advantage of the free minutes left on it.”
This reckless support carries a maximum sentence of 15 years in prison.
Richard Branson was arrested today in a shock move as British Police decided to follow Australia’s tough stance on terrorism.
“ A more blatant and reckless attitude to providing support to terrorism has never before been witnessed in this country” a police spokesman said this morning. “ This man has been providing millions upon millions of sim cards to anyone who simply buys a phone. Not only that but anyone can walk in off the street and just buy a sim card. No questions asked. He keeps no records, he assumes that all of these are for legitimate social, domestic and pleasure, or even business, use. How reckless is that?”
"We feel that Branson may prove to be the Mr Big in this area in the UK. There are just too many coincidences.
1) We all know that terrorists hit aeroplanes. Has Virgin Airlines been targeted? Strangely not!
2)They hit buses and tube trains, neither of which are owned by Branson. But do they hit over ground railways? Again, remarkably not!
3) The name itself. Virgin. What are these terrorist bastards promised in paradise?
4) And then, of course, the most telling of all. He has a beard. ‘Nuff said!”
In the US; rumours abound that the FBI have arrested singer Paul Simon on similar charges. Head of the FBI, J Edgar Dyson, explained: "This commie bastard advertised that he is a friend to terrorists, in contravention of the Patriot Act, with his worldwide hit "You can call me Al". And we all know what Al is short for!"
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Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 16th July 2007 | I think the beard is the clincher. I'm sure he'd be okay though. With privatised jails, he'd just build his own pad. Enjoyed. Phil | Written by Livinginanattic (465 comments posted) 16th July 2007 | You paint a scary picture of the sort of paranoia you'd see in a totalitarian state. I'm not convinced by point 3) though. The thought of 72 Richard Bransons to greet them in paradise would deter even the most fanatical suicide bomber. This is a well written and very funny piece. Thoroughly enjoyed. Ben | Watto Wilty Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 20th July 2007 | For the second time sheer luck stopped me from being blown up. I would have been on the Aldgate train but for a late cancelled appointment. The first time was at the Ideal Home Exhibition. We went down the wrong stairs and so was nowhere near the bomb. I think the response to the terrorism has been moderate. The Pope said that Islam was perhaps violent and so to prove that they were not they killed a nun and burnt down chaurches. I must find another piece to say a proper thank you on. Brian.
| Hi Brian Written by wltshr (341 comments posted) 20th July 2007 | I was lucky enough to be working in London when the balaclava clad boyos were a bit miffed. (It could have been worse - it could have been Manchester or Birmingham!) In my humble, the response to terrorism has been both ineffective and ineffectual. All fundamentalists are dangerous to the rest of us, not matter which religion they follow. Islamic fundamentalists, ardent zionists, and the US Christian religious right are primarily responsible for all of the security problems the world is currently facing. We need to remember that Islam is 622 years younger than Christianity. Let's not forget how enthusiastic Christians were in the 15th and 16th centuries. "Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... " Best Wltshr
| Written by TomtomKent (33 comments posted) 23rd July 2007 | See! If only James Bond had got him during his Casino Royale cameo... Or better yet Superman hadn't bothered to have caught his silly space plane thingy... *Sigh* |
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