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Poetry
A Man Talks To His Lover
By twriter
16 July 2007
A man talks to his lover, or does he? 

 


A Man Talks To His Lover

Woman!

You are as loathsome as a toad

Playing me, tricking me.

You are already dead

and our love with it.


As Shakespeare said:

Sell your face for five pence

and 'tis dear,

I say: You are cheap and

What is more foolish too.


I say this because it needs saying.

Wise men know well enough

what monsters you make of them.

I am no fool and no monster

But you – you are a jezebel!


Yours is a name which

blisters tongues.

It wounds hearts and

disturbs men

who are weak.


Weaker than me

and now that you

have done me wrong,

I have but one thing left to say:


I shall live to knock your brains out

or even better,

rip your heart and

crush it between every finger

on my hand.


But I will still lie with you tonight.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 16th July 2007
Fictional and not hidden anger, I hope. 
 
Distilled anger came through. Odd how the promise of sex can still the waters - at least for a while. 
 
Phil

Written by Sarahleigh (3 comments posted) 18th July 2007
Please bear with me- I haven't done this before! Here goes,  
 
I loved: The malice in this it's evident from the first word-Woman. It really sets the tone which carries through brilliantly. The whole thing flows really well, and keeps the reader involved. 
 
The shakespeare quotation and your reply is inspired and inspiring although I'm a stickler for quotation marks!  
 
The final line-typical infatuation!  
 
I'm not so sure about:  
The knock your brains out- the voilence seems too abrupt, too "rough" for a character that says he is not weak. I think he'd be much more subtle, and take a pricier, better revenge. 
 
It makes me wonder, did I ever make anyone feel like this/ Have I ever felt this way and I was a liitle nicer to my Husband last night just incase there are any festering wounds(I'm sure there aren't). Thouroughly enjoyed reading this.

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