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Poetry
Flowering
By CliffBowes
18 July 2007

“Give us the works.

I need it, like now.”

Slowly drawing the stuff into

The plastic syringe in jerks.

 

Senses alive to sight and smell.

He tightened the tourniquet

Another twist, watching

His bruised veins swell.

 

Today had not been good.

No dough to feed his monkey.

A quick mugging in the lane

Luckily not much blood.

 

OK Snowman here’s the bread.

Just enough for a few grams more,

Enough to escape for another night.

The pin prick - the vein will be fed.

 

Slowly the plunger is withdrawn

He watched his blood enter the tube.

Patterns formed as the red swirled in,

Hypnotising. Flowering. Re-born.

 

Then ease the thumb down and…

“Oh my God, that’s so good.

What did you cut this with mate?”

“Sod all man– It’s pure H.”

 

Drifting, dreaming.

Then dreaming

No more

  

Reviews

Written by Phil (6383 comments posted) 18th July 2007
I liked the title of this one Cliff, beautiful, yet ugly. I also liked the general structure, but for me, there were a few too many cliches in it. Too much reading of Irvine Welsh perhaps. He does grungy drug taking for fun. 
 
I guess this is a really hard one to get right without immersing yourself in the culture - something I'm guessing you'd rather not do. 
 
Phil.

Written by philkent (157 comments posted) 18th July 2007
You got the dreamy horror of the addiction and it's conclusion down very well there Cliff. 
 
This had a kind of disjointed, tawdry yet ethereal quality to it. I'd imagine this is how a junkie's life feels, at least at it's worst. 
 
Very good I enjoyed it. 
 
Phil
Flowering
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 18th July 2007
Thanks for reading and commenting Phil x 2. I've never read Irvine Welsh Phil, but I have had 30 years experience of living and working with drug users, dealers, murderers and thieves. (no I wasn't a Member of Parliament) You are probably right about the surfeit of cliches, difficult to get away from them in this subject. 
To the other Phil, glad you enjoyed this and appreciated the disjointed feeling I tried for.  
Cliff
hi
Written by maipenrai (780 comments posted) 19th July 2007
i liked this, a good write
Some praise
Written by karlostheunhappyjackyl (13 comments posted) 19th July 2007
Things I like about this work... 
 
1. The title 
2. The dialogue is v.v.v. good. 
 
I'm just not so sure about the topic - it has been written so many time before. That is not to belittle your effort; I could say the same of love and war. I am just not so sure how fresh this is. 
 
Most importantly it shows you can write. Especially dialogue, I hope you have/are writing scripts for GW. You ought to have a go - it seems natural to you.
Flowering
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 19th July 2007
Thanks Maipenrai and KarlosTUJ. Those were very kind words Karlos, I might just have a go at some script work. 
Cliff

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