Great Writing - Home > Poetry > The Waiting Beast
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1837 guests online and 4 members online
Poetry
The Waiting Beast
By TurboWolffe
20 July 2007
Nothing more than predator and prey
which is sure to stir up foul play

There it waits for me
With red eyes it sees
Succulent flesh
So smooth and fresh
Something any beast would crave for
It waits and watches for an open door
And I, so innocent
Could soon have my life spent
Not knowing that it hangs its bait
I walk right by where it waits
It counts to three

At the moment, lets me be

Then leaps from its dark place

Showing its beastly face

It pins me down

Like a rabid hound

There's nowhere to go

Its eyes are aglow

Great globs drip from its fangs

It drips down, stays there, and hangs

Its breath is foul with blood

It dares to consider me food

The one quick swipe

And i'm gone for the night

(Ahem-the rest of my life)

Thanks to the waiting beast


Reviews

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 21st July 2007
Not sure the rhyming couplets go with the uneven rhythm in this. Like the aside in the penultimate line. 
 
Phil.

Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 21st July 2007
The rhythm seems to jar in places but otherwise a very entertaining poem. I could just imagine the smell of the beast's foul breath. The aside works very well and made me laugh.  
 
Cheers, 
 
Ben

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item