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By Belladonna
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23 July 2007 |
Not entirely sure how to explain this one. Enjoy! It was all a lie. Everything I’ve ever been told to believe in was a fallacy. From the moment I was born, I was lied to, about my family, my past, Santa and the Easter Bunny, it’s all the same. Why could they never tell me I wasn’t theirs?My mother, whoever she is, was a dirt poor prostitute and gave birth to me in the back of a Ford Fiesta, delivering her baby with a small, crinkled note on the doorstep of the Banks family. Heartless Hag. And they, being the caring, darling family that they are took me in, treated me like a common household pet, and then got bored 18 years later, revealed the truth, and left me to fend for myself in the dark, uncaring world of today. So, you can see why I was a tad stroppy!I don’t remember the event, I just know that I felt nothing as I washed the blood off my hands and propped the eternally perfect Banks family on a line across the couch for the housekeeper to discover later on that day. Eighteen years of planning cumulated into one truly satisfying night. It was poetic justice. The underdog always rises up to kill its oppressors in the end anyway, doesn’t it?But I can hear you thinking. Why? How could I do that to the family who took me in?The answer is really quite simple as it happens. Perhaps, in the early years of my life the absence of a primary caregiver who loved me led to me being unable to form a relationship with the mother figure, leading to a stunted development and abnormality in adulthood. Or perhaps the Freudian concept of the ego could be the causal factor, with my inner child demanding vengeance and retribution, and my weak ego being unable to deny it. Or perhaps, like in most cases, I’m just your common or garden psycho with serious anger problems!|
Written by wltshr (352 comments posted) 23rd July 2007 | Hi Bella
This should be much longer. Good germ of an idea which demands expansion and detail.
Presumably "cumulated" should be "culminated"?
Liked the way you disposed of the psychobabble theories at the end.
Regards
Wltshr |
Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 23rd July 2007 | I hope I never get on your bad side!
This works well as a piece of flash - and there's nothing wrong with that. As Wilts says, it is ripe for development. Depends on your taste of delivery I guess.
Enjoyed this, style and story.
Phil. |
Written by Belladonna (7 comments posted) 25th July 2007 | Thanks for the comments. I will develop it when i return from holiday in a weeks time. Until then, any more comments/ ideas for improvement?
Thanks again!
Bella  |
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