READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1829 guests online and 7 members online
Poetry
VERACITY.
By Scribbler
23 July 2007

VERACITY.

I don’t write about flowers and vales and hills
Better writers than me have already done that.
I prefer to write about what the worlds about.

Getting up at an ungodly hour to go to work
Sweating your guts out then watching some
over-paid pampered footballer on TV say he’s tired.
That’s what the worlds about.

An old lady robbed of her life savings and
beaten senseless by some drug-crazed yob
to feed a habit he shouldn’t have.
That’s what the worlds about.

World leaders sending troops into Iraq,
their way of saying, “Sorry we didn’t catch
Osama Bin Laden, will Sadam Hussein do?”
That’s what the worlds about.

Old people in so-called civilised countries
dying, because they’re frightened to put the
heating on for fear of not paying the bill.
That’s what the worlds about.

People in uncivilised countries dying, for the
want of clean water, basic food and above all
the education to help themselves.
That’s what the worlds about.

The fourteen-year-old mum’s and dads
who think the world owes them a living.  Then
spend the rest of their lives trying to prove it.
That’s what the worlds about.

Big business, brain washing children via the
media. Making them a got-to-have generation
of designer clothes and labels while Mum and Dad
struggle to keep up with the world of price control.
That’s what the worlds about.

Religion! the shield used by zealous warmongers
fighting under the banner of Catholicism, Protestantism
Islam, Christianity etc etc. And perhaps the worst of them all,
the religion of being American, thank God for the atheists.
That’s what the worlds about.


The homeless guy sleeping in the shop doorway,
sneered at by the ‘Who cares as long as it’s not me
generation?’ on their way to another nightclub.
That’s what the worlds about.

The so-called football supporters setting fire
to cars and shops, beating people up and killing
them because someone’s team beat theirs.
That’s what the worlds about.

The purists who protest against genetically modified
crops, oblivious of the fact that 36,000 people a day
die from starvation, 85% of them children.  
That’s what the worlds about.

The bigot who believes he’s superior to some of
his fellow men, because at the moment of his
conception his father happened to be white.
That’s what the worlds about.

The Internet, that poorly policed super-highway
of information and misinformation, breeding a
whole new world of faceless immorality.
That’s what the worlds about.

The individuals and businesses who knowingly
pollute the earth and its atmosphere.
Killing forestation, wildlife and humans, in pursuit
of another nought on the end of their bank account.
That’s what the worlds about.
 

Governments spouting empty rhetoric about the
greenhouse effect and doing nothing. Sitting back and making
another dollar until it’s to late and we all die as a result
That’s what the worlds about to do- to itself.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6393 comments posted) 23rd July 2007
A well thought out rant. I can't disagree with anything you said - except, even though I can be a pessimist by nature, reading a long list like this does make me think - ah, but what about....? 
 
The repetitions saved this from being prose dressed as verse. Not a crit, as this would work well as prose. 
 
I much prefer this to the piece I read the other day. 
 
(Needs a good proof - many typos) 
 
Phil
golly
Written by fellpony (1507 comments posted) 23rd July 2007
you ARE cross about it.  
 
I would say this is prose, principally because most of it is built of abstract nouns. It doesn't have a rhythmic / metrical scheme of any kind, doesn't sound like something you could easily speak (unless you were a policitian, and everybody knows their main points are just made by repeating one phrase till the noise dies down). It doesn't have music or magic in the language, and wisely, it doesn't attempt to rhyme. You could do without one or two of these and still have a poem, but not all of them. 
 
It would make a good series of non-fiction rants if you picked on something specific each time and wrote about that rather than abstractions like "information and misinformation" and "faceless immorality."  
 
However, your feelings do you credit - it would be a sad old world if everybody simply shrugged and went on their way regardless.

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item