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The BBC's Latest Faking Admission Shock
By Bottleblondesurfer
23 July 2007
Like Fellpony I'm just exercising my writing muscles,it's been a while.
It's a sort of valedictory to my favourite politician.I hope you'll forgive a poor woman's obessession

Last night a spokesman for the BBC added to a long line of confessions of faking news items when he admitted to a shocked public that they had, in fact, made up John Presscott.
 “We honestly didn’t think anyone would take it seriously” he added. 
It was said to be a great relief to Tony Blair to know that he never chose him for deputy in the first place.
 “Well, Y’know a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It’s been a worry. It’s just such a relief”. He is said to be privately furious at the deception but wants to put it behind him. 
“It makes sense when you think about it” said a Brown aid. “How could someone so stupid and useless get into such a position of power? He was a continual source of embarrassment to us with his Jags and verbal gaffs”. 

Internal fighting between the two factions in the government is said to be the reason the BBC got away with this blatant invention. “We both thought the other was responsible for the appointment” said a party spokesman.
The BBC admitted it was a prank that got out of hand. They used resting actor Albert Strang to play the part and coached him carefully; inserting pictures and film of him when televising parliament.
 “We did worry about the voice as Mr Strang suffered from Alzheimer’s but no-one seemed to notice” 
 When he died in 2005 they used his faithful bulldog ‘snapper’ to continue the deception.
“We did start to wonder about this time” said a party official, “but decided that Blunkett’s guide dog was responsible for the deposits. And as Presscott’s speeches were now far more coherent we let it lie. He cited his passionate defence of British “sausages” as an example.  Cherie claims she saw Gordon feeding him bonios but he vehemently denies this, claiming to be an innocent dupe as well.

No-one is to be prosecuted over the deception but ‘snapper’ will have to stand down as an MP.
Accusations that the BBC are also responsible for Boris Johnson have been categorically denied. “That’s ridiculous”, said an official. “You couldn’t possibly make him up”.

Reviews

Written by wltshr (317 comments posted) 23rd July 2007
You leave good old Boris alone! 
 
Nice stuff, and about time. Where have you been woman? 
 
"He cited his passionate defence of British “sausages” as an example" Simply brilliant. 
 
Best 
 
Wltshr

Written by Phil (6731 comments posted) 23rd July 2007
Enjoyed this Jane. 
 
Just think, if old Boris wins as London Mayor (last I heard, he was standing) the comedic potential will be enormous. Prezza, bless his oversized self, will pale into insignificance. 
 
Glad to see you posting again. You've even been pretty kind to JP, blaming the BBC - not going soft are you? 
 
Phil

Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 23rd July 2007
Great stuff! I loved your surreal take on this. You're obviously not a John Prescott fan! 
 
Nice to see you're writing again. And this is just you warming up? 
 
Regards, 
 
Ben 
 

Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 23rd July 2007
Yes biting stuff as always Jane. Thought you might have used Roy Hattersley`s dog Buster..but no matter. Anyway I reckon the Beeb have been busy again if David Cameron is anything to go by. Nobody can be that smarmy...can they? Excellent as always and nice to see you back. 
 
Cheers 
Roger

Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 23rd July 2007
It's not often I laugh out loud while reading the work of others - but I just did! 
 
I'm still wiping the tears away!! 
 
It explains such a lot!! 
 
And you say you're just taking a little gentle exercise? 
 
Thanks Jane for brightening up my evening.

Written by Fledermaus (3308 comments posted) 23rd July 2007
What's next? Did they make up the queen as well? It's a huge plot :p Have you heard about that Frenchman who made a hobby of getting on official pictures? He succeeded several times in getting on picture with MPs, without them knowing who he was.
HI Jane
Written by jean.day (2283 comments posted) 23rd July 2007
I too enjoyed this and was pleased to see something posted by you. 
 
I always know in advance that it is going to be worth reading.

Written by Lizzy (803 comments posted) 24th July 2007
With everyone else, enjoyed this, and so plausible!!!! 
Lizzy
Promises. Promises....
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 24th July 2007
Hello Ms Bottlebank. 
 
Decidedly a ' Smiler '. But I am glad to hear you are giving Prezza a rest. Its getting a bit jaded and you are so much sharper than hocking retreads. Mind, at least you know how to tell a joke. I wonder how Davina fared?  
 
Now. Here's a real stonker of a joke for you. Should have you rolling about laughing while your arse is on fire.  
 
' I promise to respond to your e-mail this very week!!!' 
 
Jane!?... JANE!!?... Jane. You still there??........ 
 
Slan! 
 
PS. You should worry I promised Tony to get back to him as well to explain the workings of Syndication. I HOPE HE DOESN'T OWN A WATCH!

Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 24th July 2007
Quote:
I HOPE HE DOESN'T OWN A WATCH!
 
 
:grin Who, Tony?? :grin Naaaa-aaaaaah! Not unless it's a "freebie"

Written by coosh (868 comments posted) 24th July 2007
Yes, certainly a pleasure to see you've managed to keep your arse aflame, Jane, in spite of current weather conditions (even if they have just implemented a hosepipe ban here) - and certainly a good giggle. Much as I appreciate your attempts at catharsis, I suspect this will not be a fond farewell, and he will re-emerge, maybe as one of those new islands off Dubai. Best way to deal with your obsessions is to confornt them, meet him head-on, one-to-one, in the ring... ask nicely and you might get a review from twosheds... now that WOULD be a piece worth reading. Cheers.

Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 24th July 2007
Hellooooo Bernie! 
 
Am I to understand you too have been having a breather? Well its nice to be back and see the usual crew are still kicking about. Brook Rivers still sticking her neb round the door? 
 
You must include a reference to Prezza on your gravestone, as you are obviously a huge fan. 
 
To see you..... NICE. 
 
G.

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 25th July 2007
I cannot share in the general hilarity and approval here. They tried this sort of stunt in America and look what happened: people VOTED for him! In fact, we've had more than our fair share of 'invented' presidents lately, so obviously this president-inventing stuff could get out of hand. Just be careful, or pretty soon the American imports everyone is complaining about might be a lot worse than MacDonalds and Hollywood movies.  
 
Seriously, you made me laugh, despite the pain, so thank you for that...

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