Another scandal has rocked the BBC with the revelation that Natasha Kaplinski has not in fact read the news for the past six months.
A BBC spokesperson admitted this morning that Ms Kaplinski had been on sick leave since spraining her back during the `Celebrity Come Dancing` series.
`It soon became obvious that Natasha would not be able to sit at her desk and read out the news, and we knew from audience polls just how popular she was, particularly amongst the male viewers. After a hastily arranged Board meeting it was decided that during Ms Kaplinski`s scheduled appearences on the six o` clock news we would show old clips of her, with up-to-date newsfilm footage interspersed. After a week of holding our breath we realised that no one had actually caught on to the fact that Natasha wasn`t in the studio, in fact several male viewers rang in to complement her for showing such composure and professionalism during the recent terrible flood stories.`
The spokesperson continued by saying how sorry they were for this deception but they had been under enormous pressure to keep eye candy like Ms Kaplinski in order to stem the tide of viewers moving over to rival, more downmarket, news channels.
In a final twist it has just been revealed that Ms Kaplinski has been fired from her newsreading job to be replaced by Jordon....
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Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 25th July 2007 |
Good old Auntie I say. We need more eye candy.
I wonder how many more BBC deceptions are yet to come to light?
Nice one!
Chris |
Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 25th July 2007 |
Yep, enjoyed very much. NK could be the so called thinking man's Jordon. Smaller breasts, less make up and she can read an auto-cue.
Can't see the attraction of either to be honest.
Sorry, started to waffle.
Good stuff.
Phil. |
Written by coosh (1156 comments posted) 25th July 2007 |
| Very good, Woody, almost plausible. It would have also saved on all that money they must spend buffing her up (if you'll excuse the expression) before she goes out on camera - teeth-whitening overheads must be phenomenal - I usually prefer the female newsreaders who stand in front of their desks - trouble is they always seem to wear trousers - or is there a channel I haven't found yet? |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (5077 comments posted) 25th July 2007 |
Quality stuff,Roger and well executed. I like the way you stay just the right side of plausible which gives it a genuine "newsy" feel. All the time you're thinking this is silly but it could just happen". Neat trick
Have to admit I'm not sure who Natasha Kaplinski is.They all seem to come out of a mold, it's obviously a guy thing.
I'm amazed that anyone can hold their breath for a week,though
Hope the water hasn't reached you,yet.So far the Trent is staying where it should,down here.
cheers
Jane |
Written by givitsum ( comments posted) 25th July 2007 |
You old bugger. I'm guessing this Kaplinski bint is a bit of alright?
I must admit, the quality of newsreader has improved over the years, and TV weather girls even more so.
Delivery remains piss poor, but for tuggability the Beeb has it sussed. Bad news is more acceptable when delivered by a nice bit of tackle than some old boiler like Angela Rippon.
"And in other news, 16 children have been crushed to death, when their bus overturned and fell off a cliff...."
Hmmm, that's a real choker. Having said that, I bet that news reader would look nice impaled on Mr. Wilkinson. Come on Sophie, time for your injection... |
Written by Livinginanattic (473 comments posted) 25th July 2007 |
Enjoyed this!
I can just picture Jordan displaying her assets as she reads the 6 O'clock News.
I suppose it won't be long before they have a virtual, computer-generated newsreader. That's if they don't already...
Cheers,
Ben
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Written by fellpony (2924 comments posted) 25th July 2007 |
Ben - "I suppose it won't be long before they have a virtual, computer-generated newsreader" There is one, or was - she was called Ananova. Or is that a statistical test? I forget. I try not to watch too many news programs, too depressing, and even the blokes look as though they've been ironed.
Anyway. Enjoyed this! |
Written by Fledermaus (4146 comments posted) 25th July 2007 |
| Very good. Yet I wonder how they made her say the right things. I think I know who the reporter is you mean, but I'm not sure, as I usually listen to the BBC rather than watch it. |
Written by woody44 (876 comments posted) 26th July 2007 |
Thanks all. I took this idea from a survey somebody did on weather girls. The prettier they were the less the blokes could remember about the forecast she`d just read out...unless it was Angela Rippon of course.
Cheers
Roger |
Written by wltshr (357 comments posted) 26th July 2007 |
So that's why the rain came as a surprise....
Nice stuff, very lateral.
Wltshr |
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