The mystery of the U.S. cat which has the baffling ability to predict when an elderly patient is about to die has been solved. The cat which can't be named for legal reasons apparently stalks the corridors of the Californian "Sunshine" rest home until he stops outside a residents door and meows until he's let in. The cat then settles down on the bed covers and waits for the inevitable death.

Some residents who are still compos mentis are said to be terrified by the cat's activities. When the deadly feline first started it's death-watch it was assumed to be entirely co-incidental but after being found at the scene of over 20 deaths the authorities set up a secret camera. It soon became clear that, far from giving comfort to the elderly patients, the cat is contributing to their demise.

The cat pretends to fall asleep on the covers, after first licking it's arse for twenty minutes, then, when the patient is used to its presence and has drifted off into a staff induced vegetative state it casually opens an eye and stretches before settling down again on the patients face. Death usually occurs within ten minutes.

The local District Attorney is now considering what charges, if any, can be brought against the animal. Meanwhile the cat is being looked after by the "Sunshine's" cook, Rose West.