Long lost urban hero.....
Legendary fruitcake David Icke has found himself the recipient of a fatwa, imposed upon him by that bloke in charge of Iran, thanks to some badly chosen comments he made back in the 1980's on The Wogan Show.
The bloke in charge of Iran; a country which recently started broadcasting UK Gold; saw the show whilst waiting for a re-run of Mind Your Language, and was disgusted to see Icke declaring himself "the son of God".
"Never would the Prohet allow any offspring of his, regardless of their legitimacy, to turn up on the BBC's flagship thrice-weekly, prime-time chat show in a purple jumpsuit.." declared the bloke, "..let alone sporting a bobble-perm and tacky ID bracelet, regardless of whether it preceeded Eastenders or not! It would be the standard grubby bed sheet, scruffy beard, flip-flops and tea-towel round the head, tops." the bloke added.
Buffoon Icke, despite claiming no knowledge of the fatwa, has now lowered his bar, and has demoted himself to the level of 'Conspriracy Theorist', a slightly less modest stature than that of his previous job. He is currently devoting his efforts into 'proving' that Princess Di was "done in" by MI6 agents driving a small Fiat Uno (as opposed to their traditional choice of Aston Martin); that the Moon Landings were faked and filmed in a Studio on the outskirts of Skegness, and that the World is controlled by the Literati; A group of lizards in human form, of whom the Queen is the ultimate leader.
We called his house yesterday for comment, but his mum said he wasn't in.
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Written by Fledermaus (3306 comments posted) 26th July 2007 |
| Not knowing the guy, I probably missed the point, but you did manage to get in a lot of the weirdest plot theories. |
Written by gshelme (152 comments posted) 26th July 2007 |
Brilliant,I really enjoyed.
What did happen to David Icke ?
Gill  |
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 26th July 2007 |
Strangely enough..... he's a Conspiracy Theorist. Well into 9/11, 7/7, etc etc. So a GoogleVideo search and watch him in action. The Literati is actually a very interesting one, and perhaps more to it than should initially be scoffed at.
Thanks for stopping by, and all the best.
GVTSM |
Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 26th July 2007 |
Is he sleeping with that Glen Hoddle? Pair of nutters.
Enjoyed very much.
Phil. |
I reckon the way
Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 26th July 2007 |
things are going he'll wearing No 1 for the Whites next season!
Never was the term "legendary fruitcake" more aptly deserved. Is there no end to your febrile imagination?
Good stuff
S |
Written by coosh (868 comments posted) 27th July 2007 |
| Great target, and well executed, Sir. Difficult too see where truth ends and fiction starts with this one. As I recall, Hitler was a Rothschild, and Mussolini used to disguise himself as a piece of cheese, before they strung him up and turned him into a pizza topping. Nice idea with the purple jumpsuit... although as far as Not News is concerned, I think you're still just warming up. Cheers. |
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 27th July 2007 |
Phil - A well balanced judgement as always. Gully/Coosh: Thanks a lot. I watched a documentary on him on GoodgleVideo and he seems to be getting a few followers.
Here's the the Whites resurrecting the glory days under that fat cockney git.
Hurrah! |
God's Butt!
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 27th July 2007 |
Back on form! Good Smiler, Chris. The place has cheered up no end recently.
Problem with Ike was him getting elected to be President of the United States after the War. Went to his head. Then he gets made goalkeeper at Coventry City. Couldn't handle it. Tragic case. Mind, what can you expect from some dumb bromannha that gets mixed up with Coventry City. I told Elli the same last time we had this subject. But she won't listen. And look at her now. One minute she is a Microbiologist Stripogramme. Next off she's on the Poetry Site as bloody Cassandra. Yous couldn't invent it!
SLAN! |
Written by Lizzy (800 comments posted) 27th July 2007 |
Very funny, enjoyed that, what would we do without our eccentrics?
I thought you conjured up a lovely image with 'the World is controlled by the Literati; A group of lizards in human form, of whom the Queen is the ultimate leader.'
you could definitely see the lizard characteristics when she scuttled out of her photo shoot.
Lizzy |
Written by Clifftown (620 comments posted) 27th July 2007 |
The scary thing is that this could be a real news story!
I always wondered what had happened to David Icke - you do rather stick your neck on the line by saying "I'm the Son of God" - what do you do when no-one believes you? At least Jesus proved himself by coming back from the dead and turning the odd glass of water into wine.
I can well believe the Literati theory, as would anyone who has ventured out onto the streets of Essex by night.
Really enjoyed this piece...
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Icke Caramba!!
Written by wltshr (314 comments posted) 27th July 2007 |
Thank you so much for reminding me of "Barking" Icke.
I've just spent a most pleasant half hour on his website giggling uncontrollably.
He even has Reg Presley, "The former Troggs lead singer and now long-time researcher of the mysterious and unknown" with a side splitting article on Monatomic gold. (What???)
I commend it to the house.
Oh, yes. Enjoyed this immensely
Wltshr |
Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 27th July 2007 |
Like the thought of the bloke in charge of Iran being glued to UK Gold and Eastenders.
I was holidaying on the Isle of Arran when David Icke first flipped his lid and said the place would sink into the sea. It was quite a talking point and caused a good deal of amusement among the locals!
Funny piece, much enjoyed.
Ben
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 27th July 2007 |
I'd quite forgotten about Icke. Now I can remember the look on Wogans face as Icke came out with his pschotic nonsense.It was a real picture. Classic bit of TV.
Loved the idea of the Mulahs watching UK gold. I could just imagine them doing Del boy impressions. I in awe of the fact you managed to shoe-horn Icke and the Iranian Mulahs in together,what a wacky combination.
I've just looked up febrile and I think he's right. Have you always been febrile?
You crazy guy
Jane |
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 27th July 2007 |
Cheers GC, Liz, Cliff, Wilts and Lofty.
I think he ruined it for himself. I can go along with the conspiracy stuff, but when he moved onto lizards, then he's obviously a quid short of a tenner,
Glad you liked it, thinking cap now back on for the next victim...
Rgds
G. |
Sorry Barry
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 27th July 2007 |
Sorry dear, I too had to look up febrile, and I still am at a loss as to what he's on about.
Still, I think he sounded complimentary, so I'll just smile and nod.
Cheers petal
Givitsum |
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