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Poetry
untitled - "city love/city lover" ?
By no1butClo
27 July 2007
She used to hate it.

Body heat, sticking flesh
and clammy hands all in a single bed,
one night-a-week, if they were lucky.

Usually sleepless evenings gave way
to smaller hours, but greater pleasures,
two bodies moving with each other,
furtive and electric.

How effective are light, birdsong,
and city air for rinsing the mind
of lust. Yet on the train, in spite
of the company and open space,

she longs for that single bed, and
the scent of his skin crossing hers.

Reviews

Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 27th July 2007
I like this, probably because it reminds me of a time long long ago! Favourite line: "furtive and electric." 
 
Not quite sure about: "...city air from rinsing the mind...". I kept wanting to read this as, "...city air FOR rinsing the mind...". 
 
But overall a good image. 
 
Cheers 
 
Seagull

Written by Phil (6675 comments posted) 27th July 2007
I tripped on the same line. 
 
Clear, crisp - yet a little sweaty at the same time! I thought this an effective piece. Liked it very much. 
 
Phil.

Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 27th July 2007
Nice contrast between those sweaty nights and her daily commute.  
 
Enjoyed. 
 
Ben

Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 2nd August 2007
I really love this, can't nitpick at all. It's just beautiful. Expresses well the blessing and curse that sharing a single bed can be! 
I am experiencing a serious case of poet envy here (wish I'd written it!) :P

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