There are fears for the safety of the first Geordie to go into space after an incident which has led to a diplomatic row.

Self-employed car mechanic Billy Broon built his home-made spaceship The Shearer from a shagged out Reliant Robin, 3 sacks of popcorn and a barrel of Stella. Last night he launched the vehicle from Newcastle's Quayside among a large crowd of Friday night revellers.

We spoke to Michelle of Wallsend who thought it was dangerous to launch the rocket with so many people around. "It was a canny neet oot and it were proper heavin" she said, "then this thing exploded and went up and we got all this crap in wa hair!" Other witnesses described how  the vehicle swerved to one side before steadying  itself and then lurching upwards through the clouds.

One of Billy's friends described how they had been drinking together at the Bigg Market before the launch. "Billy was on vodkas and Aftershocks all neet but I couldn't stop him. He insisted he was alreet to drive but he couldn't even walk straight, never mind steer a friggin' space rocket!"

As observers across the Atlantic at Houston tracked the strange object through space, they noted its erratic course and immediately launched the Space Shuttle to apprehend the craft. However, after narrowly missing the Argos and POGO satellites the shuttle collided with Vostok 99 and had to abandon the chase. Russian president Vladimir Putin is reported to be furious and has warned of "grave consequences".

Billy finally agreed to give himself up at the International Space Station but was unable to find a suitable parking orbit. He was heard to mutter something over the radio before firing his booster rocket, and is believed to be heading for the star Pollux.