Thirteenth

[Sue]

An adaptation from a prose piece on the old site; posted in honour of what would have been my grand-daughter Naomi's 6th birthday yesterday,(31 August 2011) and remembering 13 December 2010.


Thirteenth

we lay awake last night
past twelve
skin to skin
hands clasped
keeping vigil
not giving in
to the thirteenth day
maybe a good thing
still might happen
she may live
and love and marry
never be
a woman grieving
for her child
and for her child

[jean.day]

Oh Sue, I understand from reading this that your granddaughter didn't make it to her 6th birthday. I am so sorry for you and all your family. Thank you for sharing it all with us.

[Deborahhambrook]

Hi Sue. For me, this is quite perfect. You feel you are with the couple in their determination to be positive, and at the same time, tentatively holding your breath for the best. The last lines struck me with something I hadn't thought out before - I always thought that the worst thing in the world would be to lose a child, but now I'm thinking that to lose a grandchild is bound to be worse, because it is to lose a child, and to watch your child grieve.

This is a beautiful poem to mark Naomi's birthday.

Thinking of you,

Deb x

[Geourban]

A beautiful piece Sue.
Words unadorned, simple truth.

Carolyn.

[Sue]

Thanks, Jean, Deborah, Carolyn. You're right - Naomi fought to the end but the cancer won, just six weeks ago. I am remembering her in a collection of poems from the things I wrote over the past 2 years, and this is one of the few that hasn't been on GW already.

[HedgieJim]

Sue,

A powerful poem, in places the two word lines read like a prayer, was that what you had in mind?

I was also struck by the last two lines which in their repitition create even more emotional intensity.


Respects and peace to you

Jim

[Sue]

Hi Jim, thanks - hmm, prayer, interesting thought. I suppose if wishing intensely = prayer then this qualifies. (However, I don't believe in the power of conventional prayer any more. If there were really a deity at the other end of "the telephone line," I would not have needed to write any of the Naomi poems. I reckon God is disproved. Feel free, however, to form your own opinion. )