Eva's Sting-edit

[Brett]

I'm aware of the origins of the word 'sonnet'. However this is not a sonnet so that is hardly the point, what I meant was that form should always support the content and not overshadow it.
Does one pun in one line make a poem?

I think I will make this my last comment here, I have seen where criticism on your poems lead - a waste of time, certainly mine.

Brett

[Steph]

Hi Brett and Steph,
The question to be asked is despite the clichés does it convey its message? Should I have reached for a Thesaurus and if so would the resultant wording be any better. Finally it felt "right" to me and adequately expressed my feelings. The novelty was in the ABCABCDD rhyme pattern.

Brian

Well, first of all, why are you the arbiter of questions that should be asked on the poem you posted for public scrutiny?

Second, why do you think a Thesaurus is a collection of originality? I'm not asking for synonyms, I'm asking for original thought. Should a poet or writer rely on thoughts already expressed? I think not.

Finally, if it felt right to you, why post? What did you expect to gain from the process?

I agree about the pattern.

[BrianRobertNeal]

I'm constantly surprised that people resent me attempting to answer their replies. All any of us can do is to express our opinion.

I have no pretension to being a great writer, I merely write to express myself and if I tend to cliché at least I don't retreat into obscanturist language in an attempt to create an intellectual image. As Graham Nash wrote, "I am a simple man and I sing a simple song,

Brian

[Steph]

I'm constantly surprised that people resent me attempting to answer their replies. All any of us can do is to express our opinion.

Well, of course. Why do you think anyone resents your replies? Sorry, I'm new here. Am I missing something?

[BrianRobertNeal]

Steph, yes, lots, I post stuff here to see what response it gets. I don't resent negative comments however I'm loath to make them as I realise that they represent no more than my opinion.

So if somebody writes something that to me is pretentious drivel, I'll keep my opinions to myself for they are of limited value.

I'm sure you're aware that a gerund is a verbal noun and would therefore validate you use of the word reminisce.

Brian

[Deborahhambrook]

Back to the poem - after taking another look, I think it would work if you put a comma at the end of - 'i'll remember you', instead of the full stop. As it is, the next line doesn't go anywhere.

[BrianRobertNeal]

Hi Deb,

You're quite right, I'll edit it.
Thanks,

Brian

[fellpony]

I'm sure you're aware that a gerund is a verbal noun and would therefore validate you use of the word reminisce. Brian

Shouldn't that remark be posted under a different piece of work? A gerund in English usually ends in -ing, thus, reminiscing, learning, liking.

I'll keep my opinions to myself for they are of limited value.

Sound advice, Brian.

[BrianRobertNeal]

Hi FP the full quote is

"So if somebody writes something that to me is pretentious drivel, I'll keep my opinions to myself for they are of limited value."

All anyone can say is "this is what I think" and therefore the value of the comment is limited to that person's opinion.

Brian

[Steph]

Steph, yes, lots, I post stuff here to see what response it gets. I don't resent negative comments however I'm loath to make them as I realise that they represent no more than my opinion.

So if somebody writes something that to me is pretentious drivel, I'll keep my opinions to myself for they are of limited value.

I'm sure you're aware that a gerund is a verbal noun and would therefore validate you use of the word reminisce.

Brian

Opinion is opinion is opinion. If you don't feel qualified to make a negative comment, why on earth would you feel qualified to make a positive one? Either way, that's up to you and how you decide to interact with fellow writers here. It seems unreasonable to expect others to apply your standards or accept your shortcomings as their own, and if they did, what a boring place this would be with everyone lauding praise on every single thing posted! Or better yet, not bothering to reply at all because the applause is implicit!

I sense, though, from this conversation and some of your other posts that we look for different things from this site and are unlikely to reach agreement, so I shall bow out at this point and avoid causing you further offense by commenting on any more of your work.

Happy trails, Brian.