Poet and know it? Lay your stanzas gently here.
* In the interests of fairness, please do not post more than 3 pieces of your own work at any one time.
* Responses / reviews / critiques should be posted under the work to which they refer. Detailed criticism and suggestions are welcome. However, rewriting someone's work is bad form, unless the writer has requested it.
* Discussions of other matters should be posted in the ChitChat, Off Topic or Writers' Craft forums.
So long ago, have you seen my childhood
Growing up and many things I misunderstood
And so much depression
Have you seen my childhood?
Some great times, but some not good
Don't judge me, love me for me
Feel what I feel
See what I see
I'm still a child inside
There's nothing to hide
Look into my eyes and just know understood
Have you seen my childhood?....
© 2012 Chris McKnight
I think it's fine to be inspired by someone else's work, but if you're going to riff on it, perhaps take the ideas in a new direction or add depth that was not there before. This reads too much like just a remix of the original for my tastes, I'm afraid.
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Hello Chris, and welcome.
Sorry but I'm with Kanasta on this.
I found this piece rather shallow and it lacks the concrete imagery that the reader can relate too.
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