I hope you don't look like a twat physically
I have no problems with you sussing it out. It's better than having to explain it (like it was a bad joke). I think I was trying to be too clever with the punctuation, I'll look at it.
This is taken from the first draft of a short story I'm trying to write. I got stuck, hence the poem.
Don't worry about having things stuck up your jacksy (metaphorically of course). I used to stay regularly in a hotel in Scotland which had a putting green out front. People used to bring there kids for a round on nice days. One time a guy asked the owner if he could bring his kid into the bar. The owner refused, at that time it was illegal. The father told the boss to stick his hotel up his arse. As the hotel owner was walking away, the man asked him to bring out a coke for his boy.
He replied, 'Sorry, I'm in the process of sticking my hotel up my arse ... wait a minute though, if you stuck your son up your
arse he could come in the bar.'