I found this a bit of a difficult read to start - purely because of when I open a Wendy poem up I have certain expectations of style - and this is so different. Certainly not a crit - just an observation.
As I type this, I can't see the piece anymore. Ah!
It does build well - interestingly - the style throughout (I felt) was pretty direct - and so the ending fitted well. This may be a reflection of personal development on my part - but there's something almost comic in the word 'pissed' - besides messing up your rhythms, I wonder if it's really needed. It's implicit anyway.
Really like this - and knowing you, it'll be worked on a few times yet.