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Postby Messiah » Tue Oct 25, 2011 10:51 pm

.




Image
John Henry
“The Man Who Built The Wichita Line”
Portrait in brown[/color] (1885)




Image

The adventurer and detective, Tom Sawyer
Daguerreotype - 1891





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Paul Bunyan and the Giant Redwoods
Artist’s Impression - 1885


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Blood-Clot (Kutoyis)
Daguerreotype - 1894



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Catherine Shelley
- posing for Time Magazine (1898)



*
Image
Jumbo Reilly meets Senator Robert LeRoy Parker
(Lincoln Palace – July 25th, 1898)

]
Last edited by Messiah on Mon Mar 30, 2015 11:44 pm, edited 14 times in total.
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Re: The Union of Extraordinary Americans (page 2)

Postby NoHoldsBard » Thu Oct 27, 2011 5:08 pm

So much detail about the costumes that I'm tempted to knit an episode for myself!

Dang my (corduroy) britches, I'm keen to know what happens next!

Paul
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Re: The Union of Extraordinary Americans (page 2)

Postby Messiah » Thu Oct 27, 2011 6:24 pm

As am I, pard. As am I.
I'll have t' put m' thinkin' Stetson on.

Regards,
Jeremiah Custer.
A-higgity, haggity, hoggety, high!
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Re: The Union of Extraordinary Americans (page 2)

Postby Phil » Thu Oct 27, 2011 8:29 pm

'Ever at your rear, ma'am,' said Sawyer. 'Ever at your rear.' - HoHo!

Your attention to female attire is, well, admirable. You're nor a dress maker are you? ;)

Smoothly done.

Phil
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Groucho Marx
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Re: The League of Extraordinary Comments!

Postby Messiah » Fri Oct 28, 2011 11:26 am

*

Well, isn't that marvellous! Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill create The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and along comes Jess Nevins with his books (thus far) Heroes and Monsters, A Blazing World and Invisible Territories, all three of them full to overflowing with notations on all of Moore and O'Neill's references (subtle or otherwise) to the literary characters featured in LEG.

I (begin to) write The Union of Extraordinary Americans, full of references (subtle or otherwise) to the many literary, comic book and cartoon characters of the old west, and what do I get? Trinny and bloody Susanna commenting on the clothes. Sheeesh!
;)

Cheers, Phil.

Jerry "Kid" Corns.

*
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Re: The Union of Extraordinary Americans (page 2)

Postby NoHoldsBard » Fri Oct 28, 2011 4:15 pm

You started it, matey batey. Eighteen acres of pale puce tulle with tangerine afterburn and taffeta sheep. I remember it well.
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Re: The Union of Extraordinary Americans (page 2)

Postby kanasta » Fri Oct 28, 2011 4:49 pm

I think this could be a really fun tale and it's obvious that you've put a lot into it, but I found it quite difficult to read. The main reason was the sheer density of references and names made it hard for me to follow. This piece introduces or mentions in passing twenty four characters/names - some of whom also have nicknames or aliases. The previous episode had a similar count, with 12 names but half the length- that's an average of 4 new names every 500 words if you're interested in the stats ;)

Generally when I've read (or more often seen, as it's quite a cinematic type of tale) an ensemble piece such as this, the author will normally introduce the characters a bit gradually to allow the reader to absorb before piling on new names. So Kate Shelley might get a chapter on her own before being thrown in with the rest, and so might Jonah Hex and Mr Jones, etc. At the moment it seems overwhelming and can also seem like the references are just being piled on in lieu of actual storytelling - I'm sure that's not the case, but for me that's the impression it gives.

My second gripe is much more minor, but easy to fix - and that's the formatting. The combination of indented first lines and no spaces between paragraphs gives a ragged homogenity to the text that I find really hard to read.

SO, I think you've got some great ideas here but perhaps go a little more easy on the reader and give them time to get up to speed and know who everyone is.
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Re: The Union of Extraordinary Americans (page 2)

Postby Messiah » Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:06 pm

Kanasta.

Indenting is quite common (if not the norm) in the type of books that I read (novels). However, I have taken your comment on board re paragraphs. There are now three of them.

It's difficult (if not impossible) to give characters their own chapter when they all arrive in the scene at the same time. It would be like doing the charge of the Light Brigade with each of them charging one at a time in their own stanza.

Half a league, half a league,
  Half a league onward,
In the valley of Death
  Rode one of the six hundred.
'Forward, I, of the Light Brigade!
I charge for the guns' he said:
Into the valley of Death
  Rode one of the six hundred.

Half a league, half a league,
  Half a league onward,
In the valley of Death
  Another fellow, on a white horse.
'Forward, I, Charles Arkwright of the Light Brigade!
I charge for the guns' he said:
Into the valley of Death
  Rode another one of the six hundred.

Half a league, half a league,
  Half a league onward,
In the valley of Death
  Rode yet another one of the six hundred.
'Forward, I, Tobias Westerhan, of the Light Brigade!
I, also, charge for the guns' he said:
Into the valley of Death
  Rode yet another one of the six hundred.

Cheers,
JC.
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Re: The Union of Extraordinary Americans (page 2)

Postby Messiah » Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:09 pm

Dear Mister Bard,

I am toying with the notion of having a paragraph on a lacy underwear in chapter three (or possibly six) and trust that you will be there to pass comment on my choice of cut and colour.

Regards,
Jackie Collins.
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Re: The Union of Extraordinary Americans (page 2)

Postby kanasta » Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:14 pm

Hi Steve

This isn't a book though, it's being read on screen. If you look at the same book formatted for screen reading (Kindle app on PC) and print, it's not the same. This example does still have the indents but there's space between each paragraph, because screen reading is more difficult.

Image

I know that everyone enters in this scene, but might you be able to add a couple of scenes beforehand? It would give a chance to develop the characters a little before they all start interacting.

Cheers
Katy
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