fellpony wrote:Now then sunshine, slow down, eh? At the top of the page it says, "Please do not post more than 3 pieces of your own work at any one time." It's just good manners.
Please remove parts 4 onward. You should let other people post a few things before you post any more.
it defeats the purpose of the story just posting 3 parts
The comments your work received (above) have nothing to do with the inclusion of Elvish tomes, or that your story was fan fiction. Indeed, it could have been a Hobbit yarn written in double Dutch for all I care. All I was asking/looking for was grammar of an acceptable standard.
EXAMPLE: Here is something written in High Mhänghödsünnese.
'Schràpn â thråshni ÿp ēnat œ käkä,' he said, looking to the Elvish envoy for some sign of understanding.
Did you notice how there is subtly placed comma before the closing speech mark?
Now go back and read through your efforts.
''I am an elf.'' He said. Looking at his tome. ''Have you seen my sword?'' He asked. Opening the door.
A full stop indicates the end of a sentence, while a capital letter indicates the start of a sentence. Therefore, ''He said'' is a separate sentence. As is ''He asked.'' It begs the questions: He said what? He asked whom?
It's all basic enough stuff. Nothing too complicated.
Before sitting down to write, it is worth learning the basics of how to write. Yes?
If you follow the link you will find at the end of it a book with three (spelling & grammar) mistakes in its three word title. See if you can spot them all.
Self-published or not, would you waste £7.99 on a book whose author has failed to master basic grammar? £7.99 of your hard-earned pounds for a book by an author who, by slapping her ignorance on the book's cover, is happy to advertise that she fails to grasp the basics of grammar!
By deleting your work you achieve nothing, save for an easy way out.
And another one bites the dust.