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Short stories

Apocalypse Cow

General short fiction of under 5000 words.

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Re: Apocalypse Cow

Postby Sooz » Mon Jun 18, 2012 4:15 pm

conceive-ev-eth... brilliant.

quite full of straw... I'd lose the quite.

While still engaged to Saint Joseph, Mary miraculously became pregnant, as foretold to her by the angel. However, when she told him of her pregnancy he felt disgraced by the knowledge that the child was not his own ... you need Joseph's name here. It reads as though it's the angel who was disgraced.

Was a simple sole.. did you mean sole as in fish?

This one got off to a flying start. Yes, it's a tired old subject, but what the hell, it's always worth another run around the block. but after part one, where I found the writing sharp and amusing, I felt that you ran out of steam a bit. I still enjoyed the read though.
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Re: Apocalypse Cow

Postby Messiah » Tue Jun 19, 2012 10:39 am

No, not a fish - a typo.

Sooz, thank you for digging up this old bone of an idea.
Ran out of steam? More a case of “ran dry of fervor”; having come up with the idea, I lacked the enthusiasm to write it.
As with most of my efforts in their embryonic stage, this is a mere doodle on a whim. It is not great, I know, and its future will no doubt be little more than that of a toddling blot on GW’s landscape.

As Joseph is established at the beginning of the paragraph, I see no need to re-establish him.

All the best,
MGM
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Re: Apocalypse Cow

Postby peter » Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:37 pm

Hello .. Did this cow give birth to a load of bullocks , with cheesy wotsits , or is wit blown up , as a pre caution ?
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Re: Apocalypse Cow

Postby Messiah » Tue Jun 19, 2012 1:16 pm

Indubitably.
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Re: Apocalypse Cow

Postby Messiah » Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:41 pm

Sooz wrote:

quite full of straw... I'd lose the quite.


Sadly, you would need to take that up with the Bothers Grimm, both of whom are long dead.
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