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The ABC Rules (Accurate/Brief/Concise)

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The ABC Rules (Accurate/Brief/Concise)

Postby Nick » Fri Apr 22, 2011 8:41 pm

Feel free to add your own.

Comments welcome.

Nick

The ABC Rules (Accurate/Brief/Concise)


Dear George W. Bush,

Do you want it back?

Sincerely,

Barack Obama


Dear Shrek

You’re an identity thief.

Sincerely,

Wayne Rooney


Dear God,

What the Fuck?

Rgrds,

Jesus


Dear Bill Gates

How do you like them apples?

Rgrds,

Steve Jobs


Dear KFC,

I think we need to change the special sauce, my wrist hurts!

Sincerely,

The Colonel


Dear Colonel Gaddafi,

It’s just business. Hope we can still be friends.

Faithfully,

D. Cameron, B. Obama & N. Sarkozy


Dear Santa,

Fancy switching sides?

Rgrds,

Pepsi


Dear Corporate Capitalist fuckwits,

Can I have some money?

Thanks,

Communism


Dear Quentin Tarantino,

Reservoir Dogs. None of either.

Sincerely,

Wet dog lover.


Dear The West,

Feel free to beg.

Rgrds,

The East


Dear Mona Lisa,

I’ll wipe that smile off your face.

Sincerely,

Leonardo Da Vinci


Dear Nike,

I just did it.

Rgrds,

Tiger Woods


Dear Mugabe,

I don’t know what all the fuss is about, you’ve got no oil.

Rgrds,

D. Cameron, B. Obama & N. Sarkozy


Dear Michael Jackson,

Thank you for bequeathing me your little black book.

Sincerely,

Gary Glitter


Dear BP,

You’ve been had.

Rgrds,

The Americans




Dear Publisher,

Can I stop this drivel now?

Rgrds,

Dan Brown


Dear Prime Minister,

I’ll bring the lubrication next time.

Faithfully,

N. Clegg


Dear Mohammed,

Do you like my drawing?

Sincerely,

Danish Cartoonist


Dear Jack the Ripper,

Give us a clue.

Rgrds,

Scotland Yard


Dear Scientology,

I thought you knew I was joking.

Sincerely,

Ron L. Hubbard




To The Hague,

When does my husband’s trial begin?

Rgrds,

C. Blair


Dear Kleenex,

You’re a God send.

Sincerely,

M. Bates


Dear Abraham Lincoln,

Enjoying the Show?

Best Wishes,

John Wilkes Booth


Dear Sergio Ramos,

Whoops! Butterfingers! Lol!

Rgrds,

Lionel Messi


Dear Large Hadron Collider,

It’s all gone dark.

Rgrds,

Rest of the world


Dear Mum,

Is beheading classed as natural causes?

Sincerely,

The Prince of Wales


Dear Courtney Love,

Which end do the bullets come out?

Forever yours,

Kurt Cobain


Dear Lucifer,

Deposit’s paid. I’m on my way.

Faithfully,

Joseph Fritzl


Dear Nick Griffin,

If it’s of any interest, Neanderthals died out.

Rgrds,

Charles Darwin
Our lives slip into a faceless sense of void
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Re: The ABC Rules (Accurate/Brief/Concise)

Postby fellpony » Sun Apr 24, 2011 1:24 pm

I'd call these the ABC letters. Witty :)

Dear Formula One

We made that noise first.

Yrs Yrs Yrs Yrs Yrs Yrs

The Singer Sewing Machine Company.
----
Art begins with craft, and there is no art until craft has been mastered. Anthony Burgess
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Re: The ABC Rules (Accurate/Brief/Concise)

Postby Nick » Tue Apr 26, 2011 1:33 pm

Thanks Sue - Yes the ABC Letters might be more appropriate, although in my defence this game is not originally mine and was already called The ABC Rules (all work posted is of my own creation though.)

Nick
Our lives slip into a faceless sense of void
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Re: The ABC Rules (Accurate/Brief/Concise)

Postby Keith exD » Thu Apr 28, 2011 8:34 am

Dear Republican Party

Try harder next time

Aloha

Barack Obama
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Re: The ABC Rules (Accurate/Brief/Concise)

Postby Keith exD » Thu Apr 28, 2011 9:42 am

Dear Clearblue

I think there's been a mistake

Worried

Kate Middleton
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Re: The ABC Rules (Accurate/Brief/Concise)

Postby Keith exD » Thu Apr 28, 2011 10:45 am

Dear George

Can you define 'next to nothing' more precisely?

Yours Hopefully

David
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Re: The ABC Rules (Accurate/Brief/Concise)

Postby Brett » Sat Apr 30, 2011 6:32 pm

Thank you, Nick - some belters in here that really made me laugh (those from Jesus and L Ron Hubbard especially).

Dear Testicles

Are you dropping or not? I'm trying to sing.

Yours

Bob Dylan

Cheers

Brett
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Re: The ABC Rules (Accurate/Brief/Concise)

Postby WendyPratt » Sun May 01, 2011 8:33 am

Dear Witnesses

Gotcha!

Until the next time ;)
Jehovah
http://www.wendypratt.com

Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
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Re: The ABC Rules (Accurate/Brief/Concise)

Postby Nick » Sun May 01, 2011 9:54 pm

Keith/Brett/Wendy - good ones! :D

Keep em' coming.

Nick
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Re: The ABC Rules (Accurate/Brief/Concise)

Postby Keith exD » Mon May 02, 2011 11:40 am

Dear Be

I've only got one word for you!

P.M.Roget
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