My Big Fat Gypsy Poem.

[Swampy Bob]

I'm an easy going sort of a fella,
But one thing I hate is a caravan dweller,
Thieving low life often rough and quite brash,
Incestuous animals, in short trailer trash.

Educated in bare knuckle fighting and all other thuggery,
And not forgetting good old fashioned skullduggery,
I find them offensive not to mention uncouth,
They steal anything they can even lead from the roof.
.
On their babies eyes they swear they're honest men,
I feel pity for all those blind pikey children,
Compulsive liars they tell one after the other,
A fault in their genes cos the fathers their brother.

Stealing by day and drinking by night,
Ten pints of Guinness and a bloody good fight,
The best thing for all is to drown them at birth,
I for one would'nt miss them they're scum of the earth.

This is all of course my own biggoted view,
And if you like dirty tinkers then thats up to you,
If I have upset you I do beg your pardon,
But how would you like them camped out in your garden?

[The Bender]

Ha! ha! so bloody well true and very well written to boot.
Don"t think you could have put it any better but hope you never need your fortune read!
Enjoyed, cheers.

[Sue]

As a matter of fact, Swampy me dear, I have actually met and had cups of tea with some of the people you seem to write about here. One lady rented our cottage during Appleby Fair week (though she didn't actually camp in my garden, as she has a form of Parkinson's disease), and another whom I met by chance near Appleby turned out to be a relative of hers. Both were very friendly and hospitable - and not at all "dirty." It might surprise you that their opinion of many of the "supposed" travellers who mixed with the Romany families at the Fair was as low as yours.

I think you have to accept there are good and bad people everywhere, both in settled and travelling communities.

"This is all of course my own biggoted view" - well, yes, that's very clearly put. Have you met any of them yourself, Swampy - as opposed to watching news footage of traveller camp evictions? Just curious.

[Swampy Bob]

Hi Bender,
Thanks for the review,I'm glad that you enjoyed.

Sue,
Nice to hear from you, it's been a while.As a matter of fact I grew up about half a mile from a permanent Gypsy site. I lived there for 31 years,and they NEVER proved my opinion of them to be wrong.They would take over my local at weekends, driving the locals out with intimidation bad language and violence.The few locals that refused to leave would often be on the receiving end of them come closing time.More than one of my friends was set upon frequently to the point of needing hospital treatment.My partner worked behind the bar and was subject to their abuse and glass throwing when they thought that they were above the law when time was called.

I now work in an enviroment where we just will not hire tools or plant to them, as they have stolen from us time and time again,after swearing "on their babies eyes" that will return our expensive equipment.
I am pleased that you have met what I would consider to be a very small minority of these "people".

I seem to have offended you yet again,I'm sorry, but on this occasion I feel that I am more than qualified to express an opinion on the subject.
Would be interested to hear where you was bought up though Sue,it would seem to me that it was a far cry from where I have lived.

Cheers,

S.B

[Sue]

Hi Swampy, That's fair enough, if you have dealt with people like this, you actually do have more personal experience of them than I do, and I'm not offended by that. As I said - "just curious." (Don't read in more than there is in the text...)

Yes, I suppose I have been lucky that the people I met were pleasant - and that my line of work doesn't force me to meet those who aren't.

[Swampy Bob]

Sue,
No problem, I have had many bad experiences with them, and when they got fed up with fighting the locals they would fight each other..lol.
Saying that,I appreciate that there is good and bad in all walks of life,it was supposed to be a little tongue in cheek too.

S.B

[LittleT]

Amazing! I met two quite recently and although they say they don't want to be labelled as 'scum and thugs', these two quite clearly were!
Had me laughing ... as I watched 'my big fat gypsy wedding!!

[Deborahhambrook]

Swampy, drowning babies - honestly! You sound more like a sort of giddy version of Hitler every day. Unlike The Bender, I didn't think your poem very well written, and I feel it really needs to be clever or witty, if you want to express these sorts of opinions. I also wondered if The Bender is really You in disguise. Sounds similar. Sorry if wrong- just a thought.

Deb x

[Swampy Bob]

Hi Deb,
I do agree that it's not the best piece I have written,It was a little rushed and could do with work. But Hitler? Really? A little harsh I think....lol! And if I were to have an alias,I can assure you that I woould not call myself a bender!Not that I have anything against "benders",but I'm sure that Hitler would not have approved

S.B x

[Sue]

No, Swampy and the Bender are not the same person (I checked - can't you see them shaking themselves after I held them upside down?)

Maybe the potential for offence in this comes from the title, using the word Gypsy.

The difficulty with excusing the content of a piece as "tongue in cheek" is that it often has come over to the reader as merely ranting. You've got to write very skilfully to make the verse funny.

For instance (I'm going to actually talk about the writing now, not your experience or opinions!)

On their babies eyes they swear they're honest men,
I feel pity for all those blind pikey children

You've got a great comment there but it's hidden in the way you've written it. Plus, to rhyme men and child-ren is clumsy, which hides the joke further. I'd rewrite that.

The next two lines remind me of the insult sung by visiting football clubs' fans at Carrow Road, to the theme of The Addams Family - and there the joke is the complication of the ideas combined with the tune:

Your sister is your mother, your father is your brother.
You all shag one another, the Norwich family.

As for where I was brung up (which you asked), it was on the south shore of the Mersey.